Director: Marcus Stokes
Writer: Eric Wallace
We pick up right where last episode left off, with the shocking rebirth of Eobard Thawne, apparently at the expense of Iris’ life. Eobard gloats for a bit, baiting Barry into … blasting him with lightning? … because that’s totally a thing he can do now. When suddenly, to my complete surprise, Impulse and XS arrive to try to convince their dad not to commit murder. I don’t know why they didn’t come back just a few minutes earlier to save their mom (since they are traveling through time, after all), but I am happy to see they’ve disobeyed Barry’s ridiculous order to not get involved. And they actually bring up a pretty good point. They tell Barry that the fact they still exist proves that Iris isn’t dead yet. So Barry relents and then Eobard mysteriously disappears.
They all regroup at S.T.A.R. Labs, where the actors can all stand perfectly still in a carefully spaced-out line to deliver their lines, I mean, where the team can plot their next move. Barry says he wants to go into the Negative Speed Force, which Bart says is insane. But Barry believes that’s where Eobard is, because Chester conveniently ran an infallible satellite search off screen and determined that Eobard is nowhere on Earth. Barry also still believes Iris is dead, reasoning that the changes in the timeline just haven’t caught up with them yet. And Bart begins to cry when he realizes his dad still wants to kill Eobard.
Eventually, Chester hooks up Barry, Bart and Nora with harnesses designed to take them to the Negative Speed Force. But they don’t do anything other than cause pain to our heroes. However, Barry is able to easily enter the Negative Speed Force thanks to the help of yet another speedster named Meena. She has a long, complicated backstory that I don’t feel like getting into right now. But suffice it to say, she has a natural connection with the Negative. Of course, she only helps Barry go there, much against the wishes of Bart and Nora. However, Barry is almost immediately ejected from the Negative Speed Force. He was there just long enough to learn that the other forces were transforming Eobard, before he got teleported back to S.T.A.R. Labs.
Suddenly, the “new and improved” Reverse-Flash appears in Central City with a black suit that Bart stupidly says was designed by Satan. Even though Eobard is causing quite a bit of mayhem in the streets, all our heroes choose to spend some time observing him from the safety of their monitors, which somehow reveal that Eobard now has the powers of all the Negative Forces.
Barry, Bart, Nora and Meena eventually do confront Eobard, opening with another “thrown lightning” attack (I hate that concept so much). They knock him down, but he suddenly transforms into Bart, suggesting that he somehow swapped places with Impulse right before the lightning hit him. Eobard then snaps his fingers, teleporting Bart, Nora and Meena back in time one billion years.
Even though this show has established how Bart and Nora can easily travel through time without any consequences whatsoever, they are unable to come back on their own. Maybe it was because of the Negative Still Force power that sent them back or something. Anyway, they miss the entire fight, wherein Barry is super-charged by the Positive Forces and he learns that Iris is alive. She was stuck in some weird limbo land and was able to escape through the power of self confidence. Seriously. There was a dumb time stone involved that Jay Garrick got to talk about, but it was mainly self confidence.
The Barry-Eobard fight was enormously dumb, until the ending. Inspired by Iris, Barry decided to stop fighting and go into a meditative state, where Eobard could no longer hurt him. And then Eobard kind of just … fizzled out, I guess. Or maybe his big energy blast rebounded on him? I don’t know. But he disappeared and Barry finally decided to bring Bart, Nora and Meena back.
Everybody heads back to … I don’t know, is this Barry’s house? But Bart and Nora suddenly have stylish civilian clothes on, perfect for lounging on couches. Joan shines a blue light on Iris’ face, which tells her that her “time sickness” is completely gone, and Nora’s wrist computer says there’s no Eobard anywhere in the timeline. Barry starts to apologize to his kids for briefly feeling a bit murderous, but they brush it off, saying he did the right thing at the end of the day. They all share big hugs and Bart stupidly quotes the Young Justice show by saying this was all “aster” and none of the “dis.” And then they all run back to 2049, where I can only hope they’ll stay far, far away from Season 9 of this accursed show. Unfortunately, I may not get my wish, as the episode ends with a strong tease to Cobalt Blue.
In case you can’t tell, I absolutely hate this show. Everything about it reeks of laziness, from the writing to the production values. And even though Jordan Fisher did throw on that horrible Impulse outfit, his character was once again completely inconsequential. He cried for two seconds when he thought Daddy was getting too dark, he failed to journey to the Negative Speed Force, and then he threw one little bolt of lightning at the bad guy before being zapped away a billion years. The writer of this episode, just like the two writers of the previous episode, really had no idea what to do with what I can only assume were contract-mandated cameos. But it’s not like they had a really solid plan on what to do with the main characters, either. This was an absolutely bizarre, stupid story that didn’t make a lick of sense. Everything just … happened … because a character on screen said so. Truly awful stuff.
However, I will allow myself the faintest glimmer of hope. I heard the next season will be the last of this show. Maybe, just maybe, the forces that be will pull out all the stops to ensure that this former hit of a show will go out on a high note. I have serious doubts, but it’s still fun to dream, right?
Next time, we will return to Dark Crisis: Young Justice #2.
No comments:
Post a Comment