Teen Titans #15

Super Sons of Tomorrow Part 3 Tomorrow is Never Promised

Peter J. Tomasi & Patrick Gleason – Writers
Ed Benes & Jorge Jimenez – Pencillers
Ed Benes, Richard Friend & Jorge Jimenez – Inkers
Dini Ribero & Alejandro Sanchez – Colorists
Corey Breen – Letterer
Francis Manapul – Cover
Chad Hardin & Alex Sinclair – Variant Cover
Brittany Holzherr – Associate Editor
Alex Antone – Editor
Brian Cunningham – Group Editor
Superman created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster.
Superboy created by Jerry Siegel.
By special arrangement with the Jerry Siegel family.

Our main cover shows the Titans of Tomorrow contrasted with the Titans of ... well, today. It's a nice cover, but slightly awkward, in that Manapul was forced to give the Titans of Tomorrow unnaturally neutral expressions. It hasn't been revealed yet whether they are good or bad, and unfortunately the cover suffers because of that. Otherwise, it is very pretty and artistic.

Our variant cover also suffers from the same problem. Bart, Conner and Cassie all have the blandest, most boring expressions on their face. In contrast, the Teen Titans have the most ridiculous, over-the-top expressions. Starfire was unfortunately covered up by the top left info box, although in general I absolutely love the design of those boxes. So yeah, this cover is fine, but it could have been a lot better.

Our story picks right up where we left off last time. Superboy lost control of his powers, creating a large energy blast that knocked out the Titans, destroyed a chunk of the tower, and sent the unconscious Jon Kent into the San Francisco Bay. Damian quickly confirms his teammates are still alive, then leaves them a note asking for time and fishes Jon out of the water with a submersible. The future Tim Drake, meanwhile, repairs his destroyed Batman suit with some prototype equipment kept in the Tower's basement. And he insanely takes this opportunity to come up with a new identity for himself — Savior.

Damian tells Jon that he's encountered this future Tim Drake before, and he can attest to his murderous nature. He tried to call their dads, but neither of them are responding. Jon suggests they go to the Batcave or Fortress of Solitude, but Damian points out that Tim knows their secret identities and would look for them in those places. Jon is understandably worried about his power outburst, and Damian is able to explain that it seems similar to the solar flare Superman had at the end of the New 52. Regardless, Damian has taken it upon himself to be Jon's personal protector through this crisis.

We then cut to the Titans of Tomorrow headquarters, which is the same old Tower the team is currently using, complete with old statues of the founding members. Now that Tim has repaired his suit, his teammates have now lost track of him. Cassie says they could try to triangulate his position, but there's a chance they'll miss him by a few years — a margin of error that is too high for Bart's standards.

Conner points out that Tim has been obsessed with the timeline of other worlds lately, and Cassie observes that the timeline seems to be trying to pull Tim back at random intervals. She worries that this could have an adverse effect on Tim's mind, and Bart realizes that all they can do is wait till the next interval to pull Tim back ... and hope he doesn't screw up the time continuum.

Back in the current time, Savior meets with the remaining Teen Titans and tries to make the case for him to kill Superboy. All the Titans are naturally opposed to this, but Beast Boy and Raven are both open to the idea of helping Savior track down Superboy, so long as he doesn't kill him. Starfire, Aqualad and Kid Flash, however, think even that action is too extreme, and believe they should trust their leader, Robin.

As they debate, Savior's hand suddenly becomes enveloped in blue energy and disappears. In the Titans of Tomorrow HQ, they see this hand appear in their big time portal, and Bart immediately grabs hold of it. He tells the others that if they hang on, the hand will draw them right to Tim. Savior warns the Titans that other people are coming for him and they don't have time to keep debating. Raven and Beast Boy agree with him, so Raven teleports the three of them away. Starfire, Kid Flash and Aqualad are left behind, but Aqualad connects to the water to locate Superboy's energy signature.




The story has taken a rather complicated turn with so many groups of characters in motion with different goals. But it's still fun and intriguing. The jury is still out on the Titans of Tomorrow being good or evil, although Tim Drake has clearly been shown to be insane. Sane people don't put on a black trench coat, wield two guns and call themselves Savior. But his insanity doesn't fully reveal his teammates' motivations.

I was quite pleased to see one of my favorite artists, Jorge Jiménez, on this book. Sadly, he didn't draw the whole issue, but the pages he did draw were great. His style works so well with any version of Bart Allen. I wish we could get more. In the meantime, let's look at the new ads:

The Corps faces the Kryptonian killer! Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps.

Happy Holidays from DC, featuring Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Flash, Kid Flash, Superboy and Robin all crammed together on a sled.

Next time, believe it or not, it's already time for another Year in Review before we can continue this story in Superman #38.

Teen Titans #16

The Sum of its Parts

Written by Will Pfeifer
Pencilled by Miguel Mendonça
Inked by Dexter Vines
Lettered by Corey Breen
Colors by Tony Aviña
Cover by Jorge Jiménez and Alejandro Sanchez
Adult Coloring Book Variant Cover by Timothy Green II
Associate Editor: Paul Kaminski
Editor: Mike Cotton
Group Editor: Eddie Berganza

Our cover is by two-time Best Artist winner Jorge Jiménez, and I am so happy to have him back, if only for one cover. He always drew Kid Flash in such a fun and dynamic way. And everyone else looks great, too, although I don't understand why Bunker, Red Robin, Power Girl and Beast Boy look so angry. Oh well. It's just nice to finally have something that looks halfway decent for a change.

The adult coloring book variant is a fun reminder of that fad a couple of years ago. I own the Batman: Hush and Flash coloring books, myself. This cover itself isn't anything too fancy, though. And it, like almost all the variant covers we've seen, suffers from the Titans' constantly rotating cast.

I skipped issue #15 because all we saw of Bar Torr was his legs diving into a pool of a mansion that Wonder Girl apparently broke into to give some the Titans a place to crash while Red Robin was busy with the Robin War. Anyway, they're all back in the Robin's Nest in Gotham City, listening to the few of them who tried, and failed, to stop Professor Pyg last issue. Bar quietly mutters to himself that this team is a bad idea, while the news continues to blast the Titans as fugitives.

But Bar perks right up once Red Robin returns, racing right to his side and begging him for a plan. But before Tim can get started, Raven tells him he was followed back to his secret base. Right on cue a couple of cloaked figures break in and aim a futuristic gun at Red Robin. Kid Flash takes the gun apart and Tim says, "Bart ... I could kiss you." Bar responds with, "Right back atcha, chief." Wonder Girl begins to beat up the intruders, making it clear that she has no intention of kissing either one of them (even her former boyfriend), no offense. Bar casually says no offense was taken.

As soon as our heroes reveal the intruders to be Durlans, a spaceship arrives, tearing open the entire hideout, and bringing several more Durlans to the party. Surprisingly, the Durlans recognize that Kid Flash is possesses the Speed Force, and they have just the weapon to neutralize him — some sort of random frequency algorithm that he can't vibrate out of.

And that's the last we ever see of Bar Torr. I'm serious. The rest of the issue involves a lot of fighting, before it's finally revealed that the Durlans are just here to take Chimera back home. And she readily agrees, giving Red Robin a goodbye kiss ... while she's transformed into a copy of Tim. Anyway, once the aliens are gone, we learn that not only had Bar conveniently escaped off-page, but he also wrote an enormously long note on the ground.

We only get bits and pieces of the note, which basically says that Chimera's decision to return to her planet reminded Bar that he left Solstice on the prison planet Takron-Galtos in the 30th century. Power Girl reads aloud that Bar plans to "do something" about this and for whatever reason, only he can do it on his own. Does this mean Bar always had the ability to return to the 30th century? Did he just come back because he got bored? Who knows? Pfeifer doesn't. Who cares? Again, Pfeifer sure doesn't, so you shouldn't, either.

Doomed also decides to leave the team for ... reasons. And so our issue ends with a bit of an epilogue one week later, in Heaton, Pennsylvania. And the Teen Titans lineup has now been reduced to Red Robin, Wonder Girl, Bunker, Beast Boy, Raven and Power Girl. And that's the last we'll ever have to endure of this tortured series.




I don't know why DC brought back Kid Flash only to dispose of him in the most unsatisfying way possible just half a year later. We don't know how or why he got here. And we have no idea how or why he left. How much of this was Pfeifer's fault? How much blame goes to the editors? I don't know. And I don't even know what kind of a story Pfeifer was trying to tell. This whole series has felt like a desperate attempt to just churn out anything for the sake of saying DC still has a monthly Teen Titans title because DC should always have a monthly Teen Titans title. A different art team each month, characters coming and going without rhyme or reason. An incomprehensible plot. Ugh. It's 2016 now. DC knows better than this.

On the plus side, I did have a lot of fun pretending that Pfeifer was implying that Tim, Kon and Bar were all gay. Frankly, that would have made a much more interesting story than the drivel we got. Well, let's close things out with the new ads:

A threat so epic it will take more than one Man of Steel to handle. Superman: The Coming of the Supermen.

Uncover the event that ended Batman's war on crime! Dark Knight Returns: The Last Crusade.

The DC All Access page features Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice statues.

And that is almost it for the year 2016. As if 2015 wasn't bad enough. I was only able to find two real comics a version of Bart Allen appeared in. That's not including the free KFC comic that had an Impulse cameo. Unfortunately, it seems that DC and KFC have pulled that comic. It was a rather clever advertisement that made Impulse a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes for whatever reason. I downloaded it for free via Comixology, but I can't find it anymore. Oh well.

So next time, we'll do a quick review of another continuity-changing event, DC Universe: Rebirth #1.

Teen Titans #14

Aftermath

Written by Scott Lobdell and Will Pfeifer
Pencilled by Noel Rodriguez
Finishes and Inks by Art Thibert
Breakdowns by Scott McDaniel
Colors by Tony Aviña
Letters by Corey Breen
Cover by Ethan Van Sciver and Brad Anderson
Looney Tunes Variant Cover by Joe Quinones and Spike Brandt
Associate Editor • Paul Kaminski
Editor • Mike Cotton
Group Editor • Eddie Berganza

Our main cover is another awful output from Ethan Van Sciver, depicting a scene that in no way, shape or form appears in this issue. Red Robin doesn't look human, and I have no idea who he's pointing to — it appears to be someone off screen behind Beast Boy. Bunker looks pure evil and his left arm is completely unconnected from his body. This is just bad, lazy stuff.

The Looney Tunes variant is cute, simple and fun. And that's all it needed to be.

Our story picks up after Alpha Centurion's surprise attack on the Teen Titans at the Metropolis Armory Ward. Apparently he is invincible and was able to knock out/subdue everybody instantly. It's unclear who he's working for, but it is worth noting that none of the remaining members of the Elite — Guardian, Klarion, Trinity — are nowhere to be seen as the Titans (including Wonder Girl, Power Girl and Kid Flash) are placed in very awkward-looking handcuffs and loaded up into police vans. Red Robin stops and gives a brief interview with the media, momentarily interrupting his unbearable stream of overly wordy narration. (I think we can thank Scott Lobdell for that.)

Eventually, Doomed crashes into Red Robin's truck and frees him. But he was looking for Wonder Girl, so he quickly moves on to rip open the other van, which contains Bunker, Wonder Girl, Power Girl, Kid Flash, Beast Boy, Chimera and Raven, who is once again on the verge of death and hooked up to an IV on a stretcher. I can only suppose that Tim was in his own vehicle because he doesn't have powers. Anyway, Alpha Centurion reappears to battle Doomed, and Red Robin sends Kid Flash to free everyone of their power dampeners.

Suddenly, Alpha Centurion reveals that he has three partners with him. And what ensues is a very boring, poorly drawn fight, in which Red Robin tells everybody every little thing to do. And the Titans easily win, causing me to wonder how Alpha Centurion ever defeated them in the first place.

The Titans retreat to Tim Drake's personal base of operations in Gotham, which he calls the Robin's Nest, but I have no idea what that means, since our enormous art team couldn't find the time to draw any backgrounds in those panels. While everybody stands around worrying about being outlaws, Red Robin sneaks off to join the Robin War crossover.




What's going on here? Who's in charge of this series? It feels like everyone has just given up. They're just limping along until the next deadline, counting on the Robin War to buy them some time before being forced to do the impossible — come up with the next story. Six consecutive issues with a different art team, and the last two have been way below the standards DC normally holds. This was just an awful, lazy issue. Alpha Centurion did not need to show up. Neither did Doomed. I don't care if Scott Lobdell wants to bring in characters from his own failed series. You need to come up with a legitimate reason for their inclusion.

Will Pfeifer was trying to do something interesting with the Elite vs. the Teen Titans. But that got thrown away before anything could happen. Our stories are not being set up properly, nor are they being allowed to conclude in a satisfying manner. We're perpetually stuck in the "middle," which is rife with so many random moments that I constantly felt like I had skipped an issue or two. Luckily, we only have more issue of this garbage. Here are the new ads:

The Dark Knight. The heroes in a half shell. Together. Cowabatga! Batman/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

The Dark Knight is going to die ... unless the Joker can keep him alive! Batman: Europa. This was a mildly interesting series. I appreciated that they spent one issue in my favorite city in the world, Prague.

A conversation with Andy Kubert and Klaus Janson, the artists of Dark Knight III: The Master Race. Huh. All three ads used the words "The Dark Knight" for a different version of Batman. What are the odds?

Well, that's it for another terrible year without the real Bart Allen. Next time, we'll review 2015 before finally wrapping up the story of Bar Torr once and for all.

Teen Titans #13

Rogue Targets Part V

Written by Will Pfeifer
Pencilled by Ricken, Paolo Pantalena and Noel Rodriguez
Inked by Trevor Scott, Johnny Desjardins and Paolo Pantalena
Breakdowns by Ricken and Scott McDaniel
Colors by Tony Aviña
Cover by Ethan Van Sciver and Andrew Dalhouse
Monster of the Month Variant Cover by Aaron Lopresti
Associate Editor Paul Kaminski
Editor Mike Cotton
Group Editor Eddie Berganza

Ugh. Not only do we get our fifth different art team in as many issues, but now we have to endure Ethan Van Sciver's horrendous covers. I know, it's still weird for me to use the phrase "Van Sciver's horrendous covers," but something happened to him after his work on Impulse. Artistically and psychologically, he became a different person. And his artwork has never been as good since. This cover of a randomly giant Power Girl attacking Manchester Black shows how completely inept Van Sciver is at drawing breasts — especially on teenagers. And Power Girl's grotesque knuckles demonstrate Van Sciver's inability to know when to not go hyper-detailed. Also, I'm a bit upset that Red Robin and Wonder Girl were included on this cover, completely removing any tension of them returning to the big prison brawl from Harvest's ... uh ... lair? Yeah, this series sucks.

Our variant cover goes old-school with the master storyteller Cain. And the jack-o-lantern reminds me of Tim Sale's Batman work. Sadly, none of the Titans look particularly good, and it's not fair that Superboy made the cover but Kid Flash didn't.

We pick up with Bar, Cassie and Tim in what is described as "the Chamber of Harvest: Location unknown." Bar recaps last issue, and he and Cassie argue about Tim's ability to help them escape after losing his boyfriend, I mean best friend. But Tim proves he's up to the task and begins playing with Harvest's computer, promising to not only save the Titans from the prison riot, but make the team respectable again. Bar and Cassie instantly come on board with this plan, with neither of them breathing a word about the Elite.

Before too long, Red Robin is able to teleport himself, Wonder Girl and Kid Flash back to the Metropolis Armory Ward. But the riot they expected to return to turned out to be nothing more than an elaborate illusion created by Dr. Psycho, who has already been defeated by Beast Boy and Raven. Well, mostly Raven, but who cares at this point?

Red Robin takes off to find Chimera, and Kid Flash demonstrates his loyalty by ... uh ... stealing? destroying? all the guards' guns to protect Tim's back. Anyway, turns out Manchester Black was trying to get Despero to help him destroy the Titans, but Chimera posed as Despero to get him to admit this. Power Girl became enraged to learn this most predictable and lackluster truth. When she attacks her boss, she suddenly grows into a giant. Manchester Black explains that he's been drugging her food to give her this ability, and he implies that the other members of the Elite will start manifesting new powers as well, but that's never going to happen.

So Power Girl beats up Manchester Black, who never once demonstrates any of his psychic abilities that he's so associated with. Tim and Cassie calms Power Girl down, but then Alpha Centurion appears out of nowhere and immediately knocks out the Teen Titans, claiming he's bringing them to justice.




This series has the uncanny ability of finding new lows to sink to. I highly suspect that this issue in particular underwent major, last-minute rewrites. The last of the pages simply looked unfinished. The art was some of the worst I've seen in a long time. So what did this issue accomplish? It thoroughly negated the first four parts of what was initially promised to be a four-part story. It admitted that Power Girl was too boring with a super power merely of super strength. It conceded that Manchester Black actually had no grand scheme at all — just a desperate and sloppy plea to get a more powerful villain to join him. This comic also made it clear that nobody ever really cared about Superboy being a murderer. And we were reminded that Scott Lobdell's shadow will never leave this series by randomly bringing in a character he featured prominently in his Doomed series.

And Kid Flash is just ... there. He has no motivation, no goals or ideals. And he has nothing interesting to do in this schizophrenic story. Let's look at the house ads and get out of here.

In battle, boys die easier than men! Robin War.

Batman: The Dark Knight Saga deluxe hardcover collection.

The creator spotlight is on Max Landis, who never should be supported because he's a scumbag. To put it mildly.

Next time is actually our last comic of 2015. You sure plow through a year quickly when you don't have any versions of Bart to review for half of it.

Teen Titans #12

Rogue Targets Part IV

Written by Scott Lobdell and Will Pfeifer
Pencils by Ian Churchill
Inks by Norm Rapmund
Colors by Tony Aviña
Cover by Ricken
Green Lantern 75th Anniversary Variant Cover by Mike McKone and Dave McCaig
Associate Editor Paul Kaminski
Editor Mike Cotton
Group Editor Eddie Berganza
Superboy created by Jerry Siegel.
By special arrangement with the Jerry Siegel family.

I'm always frustrated by a lack of consistency on art teams (this is now our fourth straight issue with a new artist), but I am happy Bengal isn't doing the covers anymore. Granted, this isn't a particularly compelling cover, either, but Superboy does look nice, so I'll give it that. Story-wise, it's completely deflating. We've been gearing up for this big battle between the Elite and Teen Titans over Superboy, but then he just ... surrenders? Even Wonder Girl and Power are disgusted by this turn of events.

The Green Lantern variant isn't anything special, either. An angry Hal Jordan is standing in front the Titans, who all look as bored as I am. Also, why does everybody keep putting Power Girl with the Titans? She's been actively fighting against them as a member of the Elite for quite a while now.

Our story begins with Superboy crashing into the supermax prison called the M.A.W. to demand that Despero give him back his life. Suddenly, Superboy, Wonder Girl, Kid Flash and Red Robin are standing in the ruins of one of Tim Drake's old penthouses. Cassie and Bar initially blame Kon for this, and Bar even threatens to scramble Kon's brains before wishing they could ask Manchester Black for advice.

Cassie calls Bar "Bart" and tells him to conduct a speed check of the perimeter, but Kid Flash quickly discovers he's lost his super speed. Wonder Girl and Superboy also report being powerless, leading Bar to speculate that Kon is messing with their minds again (although I have no idea when he first messed with their minds). Kon retorts by blaming Bar for almost getting them all killed in his revolution in the future (even though I thought this Kon, the real Superboy, didn't go to the future with the others and was instead replaced with a fake version of himself). Tim, as usual, is the only one with any idea of what's going on, saying with absolute certainty that this manipulation was not caused by the villain they spent all last issue trying to get to, Despero. Tim's only reasoning is that Despero would have killed them by now.

For some strange reason, Tim removes his mask and engages in a heart-to-heart with Kon, who finally admits that he did kill those Durlan refugees. He explains that the aliens somehow shut his mind down, leaving his body to rely on its lethal programming to protect itself. As he talks, the environment changes to show a flashback of Superboy's actions. Kon didn't realize he did this at first, but the memories gradually came to him. Bar says he can relate to that selective amnesia, and Cassie promises to give her ex-boyfriend the help he deserves.

Bar's costume suddenly turns into the yellow-and-green one we saw in a couple of his flashbacks, and he melodramatically says that he's worse than Kon. Bar seems to imply now that he was fighting on the wrong side of the war and says both he and Superboy need to pay for their crimes. Cassie interrupts him to shout about her boring backstory, before Tim urges them all to think of something positive. So Scott Lobdell returns to what he clearly thought was the funniest moment of his run — Bar stealing Tim's shirt.

Except Bar has black hair in the flashback? I guess that's what happens when your artist draws all the characters to look exactly the same. Anyway, Cassie's favorite memory, as disturbing as it sounds, was her first fight against Superboy in Times Square. Kon's favorite makes more sense — it was the Titans rescuing him from H'el. Tim's is also horrifying, though — Trigon's attack in Times Square.

The environment suddenly shifts, though, to show the giant screen of monitors Tim used to track down the original Titans. For some reason, Cassie, Kon and Bar all see this as some kind of betrayal, but Tim logically explains that he wasn't going to let a group of super-powerful strangers live in his house without first conducting a background check. He then randomly decides that now is the time to strike out against their foe, because, as usual, Red Robin is the only one who ever knows what's going on.

Turns out it's Harvest. Seriously.

The former leader of the organization known as N.O.W.H.E.R.E. (which never was revealed to stand for anything!) has somehow teleported these four heroes away to some secret lab of his, all just so they could say goodbye to Superboy. Harvest tells Kon it's time for him to return "home," and even though Cassie, Bar and Tim strenuously object, Kon agrees with his creator. Well, actually the only one who seriously objects to this is Tim. Bar readily concedes that he never trusted Superboy, and Cassie doesn't object to Kon telling her he never loved her. But Tim slices open Kon's chest with his wings and impotently pounds on him while collapsing to the ground in a sobbing mess.

Kon kneels down next to Tim and thanks him for everything he's done. And I 100% expected him to kiss Tim here. But he didn't, instead whispering, "And everything you couldn't do." Kon abruptly flies off somewhere, leaving Tim behind to scream his name. Harvest gives a long lecture full of revisionist history and how he always intended for Tim to gather the Titans and train them before they would decide, one by one, to join Harvest. And then he teleports away, I guess.




As if things couldn't get worse, Scott Lobdell is back. And he helped yank this story away from its promised conclusion with Manchester Black, the Elite and Despero to randomly force Harvest into this story and make a very poor attempt at telling an introspective story of the Big Four (as I like to call them). This felt like a filler issue, except it wasn't because we learned that Superboy really is a murderer and he left the team to ... I don't know, join Harvest or something? Such crucial details needed to be revealed with everybody present, not in some stupid dream room.

It's such a shame that an issue all about Kid Flash, Red Robin, Superboy and Wonder Girl was so boring and unsatisfying. This would have been the perfect opportunity to reveal how and why Bar Torr came back to the 21st century, but not one word was said about that. In fact, this issue didn't even mention Solstice once. Bar's favorite memory really is stealing Tim's shirt? Guess that goes to show you how phony his romance with Solstice was. But what really gets under my skin was Bar's defeatist attitude toward his rebellion. He was fighting a good fight against a horrendously evil government that maliciously slaughtered people just because they believed in religion. All of Bar's actions were completely justified, and it drives me insane that everybody around him, and now he himself, decided that was wrong. I can't wait till we're done with this series. In the meantime, here are the house ads:

Superman: American Alien by Max Landis. Fun fact, Landis was accused of rape and sexual abuse earlier this year. Please do not support his work.

The Multiversity deluxe edition hardcover graphic novel by Grant Morrison.

The creator spotlight is on Jeff King and Carlo Pagulayan, the creative team behind Telos.

Next: From the ashes ...

Teen Titans #11

Rogue Targets Part 3

Will Pfeifer Script
Ricken Art
Dan Brown Colors
John J. Hill Letters
Bengal Cover
Ant Lucia Bombshells Variant Cover
Paul Kaminski Associate Editor
Mike Cotton Editor
Eddie Berganza Group Editor
Superboy created by Jerry Siegel.
By specials arrangement with the Jerry Siegel family.

Our cover shows the Teen Titans fighting a bunch of super villains in a prison. Chimera's odd absence is made up for with Superboy's odd presence. And as is usual with these Bengal covers, this one is another dud. They just don't look good. Plus, this is depicting a scene that doesn't happen. Perhaps the biggest sin this cover commits is making Despero an also-ran here. This issue will build him up as one of the greatest threats imaginable, and the entire reason the Titans are breaking into that prison.

The Bombshells variant features Raven, although the fishnet stockings make her look like Zatanna. This cover is ... fine, I guess. Although I never understood the Bombshells appeal. Is it supposed to be sexy or funny or nostalgic? I don't know and I don't care.

Our story picks up in Manchester Black's apartment, with Raven lying on the floor unconscious. I would have thought this was the result of the psychic backlash she got from Manchester Black, but this issue says she's drained after teleporting herself and Red Robin from Chicago to New York. And even though Manchester Black was pleased to give his intruders all the information they craved last issue, in this issue, he spends all his time threatening Tim Drake (whose secret identity he knows) and talking about the damage the Titans have recently caused in Chicago. So Tim is forced to stage a dramatic retreat, right as the Elite arrive to help their boss.

Manchester Black oddly chooses not to pursue Red Robin, and we don't get any sense of the Elite trying to track down Superboy over the next three days, as the Teen Titans plan their break-in of the Metropolis Armory Ward, aka the M.A.W. They bring Raven along, even though she's still quite worthless ... you know, from the teleporting. Also, all the prison cells suddenly open, either by Beast Boy's accident, or someone else's deliberate action. Anyway, by the time Red Robin and Chimera reach Despero's cell, Superboy suddenly bursts into the prison in the most dramatic way possible, and Manchester Black sends the Elite there.




Pfeifer truly is perfecting his imitation of Scott Lobdell by routinely disregarding so much of what he has done from issue to issue. But worse than that, he has created a story that is dreadfully boring. There's no sense of tension, no major stakes at play, and tons of pertinent questions that are still being ignored. Why is Wonder Girl working with Manchester Black? How did Kid Flash come back? Plus, this is the third part of the story, and we've had a different artist on each issue. Why does it feel like none of the creators involved care about this book?

Let's drown our sorrows with the house ads:

Will dark secrets from the past destroy their future? Batman & Robin: Eternal.

The creator spotlight is on Doug Mahnke and Peter J. Tomasi, the creative team behind Superman/Wonder Woman.

Next time, we will conclude this strange story in Teen Titans #12.

Teen Titans #10

Rogue Targets Part 2

Will Pfeifer Script
Felipe Watanabe Pencils
Trevor Scott Inks
Dan Brown Colors
John J. Hill Letters
Bengal Cover
Ben Caldwell Teen Titans Go! Variant Cover
Paul Kaminski Associate Editor
Mike Cotton Editor
Eddie Berganza Group Editor
Superboy created by Jerry Siegel.
By special arrangement with the Jerry Siegel family.

Our main cover is an improvement from last issue's — at least we've got a background this time — but it's still not very exciting. Red Robin, Bunker and Raven are having a midair battle against Power Girl and Guardian, but we can't see anyone's face really well. And it's kind of impossible to tell what's really going on. I also have to laugh at the text, "Last Stand Versus the Elite." (Wonder Girl's team is apparently called the Elite, which makes sense, given Manchester Black's involvement.) But how can this be the "last stand" when the fight hasn't even begun yet?

The Teen Titans Go! variant is cute, but rather nonsensical. Raven is banging on the TV because ... she hates it? Beast Boy and Red Robin seem to love seeing their counterparts on the small screen. Power Girl (who is currently a member of the Elite) is preoccupied with her muscles. And Bunker is ... doing something with his bricks. I don't get it. And on a whole, I'm not a fan of Teen Titans Go! There is such a thing as being too silly. And mostly, I'm mad that DC and Cartoon Network decided this is the only superhero cartoon that can be aired on TV.

Our story picks up at the Teen Titans' new penthouse in Chicago's legendary John Hancock building. Wonder Girl demands that Superboy be surrendered to the Elite (and subsequently S.T.A.R. Labs), but before she can get through her intimidation monologue, Kid Flash takes center stage and blames Red Robin for leaving him and Solstice trapped on a prison planet in the future. Tim's first question is "What are you talking about?" (Personally, I would have started with "How did you get here?" but that's just me.)

Bar does say he got yanked back to the past, but he doesn't elaborate. He says Solstice is still on Takron-Galtos (in the 31st century), and he begins backing Red Robin up into the window. Tim also refers to Kid Flash as "Bart," correctly reminding him how he demanded the Titans leave him on that prison planet. Bar says he's been waiting several centuries for this moment (another perplexing comment) and he continues to jab Red Robin's chest until the window begins to crack. Tim ends Bar's incoherent monologue by throwing a flash grenade and having Beast Boy turn into a hippo to sit on Bar's chest.

Cassie then gets back on track and asks Kon to come with her, but he angrily retaliates by throwing her into the TV. He then punches Guardian out the window, and none of his Elite teammates make any effort to catch his fall from the top of a skyscraper. Trinity, an Indigo Lantern, creates two duplicates of herself ... which do absolutely nothing. Klarion implies he's warping reality around Superboy, which might explain how Guardian suddenly reappears from out of nowhere. (I just call it lazy writing and sloppy artwork.)

During the chaos, Red Robin has Raven teleport just him and herself to Manchester Black's location. As soon as they vanish, Superboy strikes Guardian's shield with enough force to practically destroy the entire penthouse and knock everybody down. He starts to fly away, and when Power Girl jumps on top of him, he casually tosses her down to the roof of a nearby building. Wonder Girl finally catches up to her former boyfriend and slams him into another skyscraper, causing another large explosion.

The rest of the Titans and Elite are dealing with the damage caused back at the Hancock Center — a large antenna had broken free and was about to crash onto the ground far below, but Klarion turned it into snow. But as soon as he does that, he realizes Raven and Red Robin are in New York.

Manchester Black, who was at S.T.A.R. Labs last issue, closely monitoring this crucial mission, has very quickly and randomly decided to go to his own private penthouse in One World Trade Center. He is talking to somebody on the Elite on the phone, but that's not quite the same as running things from the command center.

Anyway, since Superboy has returned to his level of invincibility from the beginning of the New 52 Teen Titans, he has gained the upper hand on Wonder Girl. He slams her through a bridge and holds her underwater until she blacks out. It's kind of odd for an accused mass murderer to try to prove his innocence by causing so much damage to the city and likely kill some people on that bridge, but what do I know?

Kid Flash races out to the bridge, followed by Chimera, who gains the abilities of whoever she mimics. Superboy tosses Wonder Girl back onto the bridge and covertly flies away, while Bar and Chimera tend to Cassie. When the rest of the gang shows up, Klarion says that for whatever reason, he can't track Superboy, but he can track Red Robin and Raven. So the Elite teleport away (except for Kid Flash, who opts to run again), leaving Beast Boy, Bunker and Chimera wondering how they can quickly get to New York.

Manchester Black, meanwhile, is handling himself quite well against Red Robin. So Raven tries to assault him psychically, but instead is fed horrific images of villains, monsters and demons. Manchester Black says those images came from the Supermax Prison, and confusingly says that's where they need to go if they want to save their friend.




I think Will Pfeifer is taking way too much inspiration from Scott Lobdell. He shares his penchant for lavish penthouses, invincible characters, and raising too many questions to be answered in a reasonable manner. The only difference is Pfeifer is weighing his story down with way too many characters (so many of them just sit around in the background with nothing to do) and he has an odd obsession with breaking the sound barrier. I don't need anyone to tell me if Superboy is traveling at Mach 5 or Mach 6 anymore. Once was enough.

In a similar manner, Felipe Watanabe tried to channel Kenneth Rocafort on this issue. But he didn't do nearly as well. The action scenes had a tendency to become quite confusing, which was problematic, as this issue was basically pure action. I will, however, credit Watanabe, Scott and Brown for not making Bar Torr look too much like Wally West.

But speaking of Bar, what the heck is going on with him? Was his memory addled again by this most random trip through time? And is he immortal? Forever stuck in the body of a 16-year-old? That would explain how his little sister became older than him. And account for his strange comment about waiting for centuries to get back at Red Robin. Ironically, Bar actually does have a valid grievance with Tim. He (and the rest of the Teen Titans) turned their backs on Bar during his rebellion against the Functionary. But Bar isn't mad about that, nor is he mad at Wonder Girl for her role in that betrayal. Instead, he's yelling at Red Robin for ... listening to him and doing exactly what he asked.

It doesn't make any sense. Nor does Bar's return to the past. The only lead we have right now is that Manchester Black somehow is responsible, but if he has the ability to pluck any person from any time era and any planet, then why'd he choose Bar Torr? It's not like he's making any kind of an emotional impact on his former teammates — Red Robin didn't care to ask how Bar came back, and Raven, Superboy and Bunker didn't even say one word to him. I'm not expecting any satisfying answers. So in the meantime, let's check out our DCYou ads:

Not even the fastest man alive can outrace death! Are YOU ready? The Flash by Robert Venditti, Van Jensen and Brett Booth. This was the creative team that turned me away from the Flash and my New 52 Flash blog. It's a shame, because I really liked that blog. But their stories and artwork were unbearable.

They have the guts, and they're looking for the glory. Are YOU ready? All-Star Section Eight.

The DC Universe! page breaks down the cast of The Omega Men in the form of a wanted poster.

The creator spotlight is Steve Orlando, the writer behind Midnighter.

Next time, we'll take a very quick look at Doomed #3.

Teen Titans #9

Rogue Targets Part 1

Will Pfeifer Script
Kenneth Rocafort Art
Dan Brown Colors
John J. Hill Letters
Bengal Cover
Scott McDaniel & Tanya Horie Joker 75th Anniversary Cover
Special thanks to Tom King
Paul Kaminski Associate Editor
Mike Cotton Editor
Eddie Berganza Group Editor

Our main cover shows the Titans fighting over Superboy. Beast Boy and Chimera are trying to pull Kon away from Power Girl, Klarion and Kid Flash. Sadly, for some unknown reason, Rocafort did not draw this cover, and I think it kind of sucks. The characters all look really bland and slightly off. And the cloudy sky background makes it seem like Beast Boy is flying in the air, when he can't — unless he turns into a bird. Also, Superboy and Beast Boy do not wear those outfits in this issue.

Look at this! DC is putting their variant covers with their digital comics again! Unfortunately, this is another bland, disappointing cover. The background is a giant Joker face with some blood splatters and playing cards floating around. And completely unrelated from that, is Raven, Wonder Girl, Beast Boy and Red Robin standing in a boring, generic pose. It honestly feels like it was thrown together at the last minute. "Wait? You want a Joker variant for Teen Titans, too?"

Our story picks up from the Sneak Peek with Wonder Girl and her team still unable to locate Superboy, who isn't just wanted by S.T.A.R. Labs and Manchester Black, but by the whole world, basically. Every news station is reporting Superboy as a mass murderer, and even though Chimera thinks Kon should stay in their new Chicago penthouse apartment for safety, Red Robin thinks it's fine to let Superboy burn off some steam by flying around the Windy City in his old Tron uniform.

Tim is almost immediately proven wrong, as Superboy decides to save a woman from a crashing train. This not only creates a surge in police and public reports, but a wave of energy that S.T.A.R. Labs is able to track. So Manchester Black interrupts his team's training and has Wonder Girl, Power Girl, Klarion, Guardian and a girl named Trinity teleport to Chicago. Kid Flash chooses to run there himself instead.

Superboy has naturally already fled the scene of the train crash by the time Wonder Girl's team gets there, but Kid Flash has a handheld device that lets him track Superboy's energy and calculate his destination. Klarion teleports the team right to the front door of the Titans' penthouse. Kid Flash says he wants to get his hands on Red Robin, but Wonder Girl reminds him of their mission. She tells everybody that the Titans are still her close friends, so she asks them to let her do the talking. And then she punches the door down.

This story is kind of a mess. There are too many characters to keep track of, and I can't believe how Kid Flash was so casually inserted into this story without any explanation whatsoever. He seems like Bar Torr, wearing the old uniform Static Shock made him. But Cassie is calling him Bart. And Rocafort and Brown are making him look like a young Wally West. I guess that's a throwback to the pre-Flashpoint days when half of the artists at DC presented Bart as Wally. Sigh! I just hope we'll get some questions answered soon.

We have two DCYou house ads:

We're not sidekicks. We're an army! Are YOU ready? We Are ... Robin.

Man vs. Machine. Are YOU ready? Cyborg.

On a two-page spread showing nine of the new DCYou comics, Dan DiDio writes a note, in which he falsely claims that DCYou is a bolder step than the New 52. He is correct in saying DCYou is creating stories of different tones and styles, but this reboot is nowhere near as bold as the New 52 was.

We also have an interview with Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner about the new Starfire series.

Next: Wonder Girl vs. Superboy!

DC Sneak Peek: Teen Titans

Divergence: Teen Titans

Will Pfeifer Writer
Kenneth Rocafort Artist
Dan Brown Colorist
John J. Hill Letterer
Jeremy Bent Assistant Editor
Mike Cotton Editor
Eddie Berganza Group Editor

In May 2015, DC's big, reality-altering event was called Convergence. It launched a bunch of two-part stories that combined different versions of DC's heroes and villains. Sadly, none of these stories involved any version of Bart Allen. Until this Sneak Peek story. The second part of these Convergence stories included a brief story showing a glimpse of what the post-Convergence world looks like, or, in other words, the resulting Divergence. So this isn't really a comic. It's not available on Comixology or the DC Universe app, but you can read it for free here: https://www.dccomics.com/reader/#/comics/363531

The "cover" really isn't a cover. It's actually just the last page of the story darkened slightly, with a random Red Robin head popping up behind the turned page corner. It's Rocafort art, so it's fine, but not spectacular — I've said in the past that he does better on covers than interiors. Anyway, before we  get into the story, I must confess that I skipped the issue that officially contained Bar Torr's return to the 21st century. It was in the Teen Titans Annual, and he only showed up on the last page and didn't say anything, so we're really not missing anything.

Our story picks up right where that annual ended, with Wonder Girl and Kid Flash anchoring a new team in opposition to the Teen Titans. The cause of schism is Superboy, whom Wonder Girl believes to be a mass murderer, who needs to be brought to justice. Beast Boy, Raven, Bunker and a shape-changing alien named Chimera support Red Robin's efforts to protect Superboy. Wonder Girl, however, has joined with the aforementioned Kid Flash, the Guardian, Klarion the Witch Boy and a new hero named Power Girl, all working under a man named Manchester Black and S.T.A.R. Labs.

With Red Robin's team on the run, Wonder Girl's team is training. We don't know how or why Bar Torr returned to this planet and this era, but he does seem to imply that he chose to come back. There is no mention of his girlfriend, Solstice.

The rest of the brief story details a phone call between Tim and Cassie. They basically both just reiterate their irreconcilable differences and promise a fight when they meet next. Manchester Black tried to track the location of Tim's phone, but Red Robin had covered his tracks and sent the S.T.A.R. agents on a wild goose chase.




This was an interesting sneak peek, to say the least. Teen Titans got a new creative team and the numbering was reset after Scott Lobdell left, but this still feels so much like a continuation of his convoluted storytelling. Yeah, Beast Boy is now green, but all the old characters are back. And as far as I can tell, this is the real Superboy — not the Fake Superboy from Bar's trial. Even Kid Flash is back. Inexplicably, unexpectedly back. I hope Pfeifer doesn't wait 25 issues to get to the bottom of this mystery.

What makes this feel most like a Lobdell story is the unbalanced attempt at a sophisticated argument. It's a really neat idea to have the Teen Titans split over ideological differences. I just wish that debate wasn't so blatantly unbalanced, though. First is the inconsistency of Wonder Girl singling out Superboy for mass murder, while readily allying with convicted war criminal Bar Torr. There's a chance that Convergence changed Bar's violent past, but until we're explicitly told that, we must assume it's still the same. But the second, and biggest flaw is the involvement of Manchester Black. All long-time readers know he's a villain with mind-control powers. So maybe Wonder Girl is under his control right now. Which makes for a fine story, but this was not presented that way. It was a lengthy conversation between Tim and Cassie, debating philosophy and loyalty and all that jazz. If Cassie was brainwashed during that entire conversation, then it completely negates everything that was said.

As nice as it is to see DC remember Bart Allen (or alternate versions of him), I'm quite skeptical of him suddenly escaping that prison planet without explanation and his girlfriend. But I do like seeing Klarion the Witch Boy here. I don't like his blue skin, but I do love his gothic look. And it makes sense for an entity of chaos to occasionally be a good guy. Or is he a good guy here? I don't know, and it's rather intriguing. So I guess this Sneak Peek succeeded in giving me one hook to hang onto, even though the story itself didn't add anything to that annual issue.

Next time, we'll take a quick look at the conclusion of Convergence and try to spot our old pal Impulse.

Teen Titans #30

... And Now ... The End Is Near ...

Scott Lobdell Writer
Scott McDaniel Breakdowns
Tyler Kirkham Art
Color: Arif Prianto
Letters: Travis Lanham
Cover: Kenneth Rocafort
Asst. Editor: Anthony Marques
Editor: Mike Cotton
Group Editor: Eddie Berganza

Brett Booth couldn't make it to the end, or DC just decided to give a jumpstart to the new artist for Teen Titans, Kenneth Rocafort. Either way, we end up with what is probably the best cover of this miserable 30-issue run. Rocafort has the ability to be brilliant — sometimes I grow weary of his layouts, but his covers are usually quite a treat. Such is the case here, as he artistically portrays Scott Lobdell's frantic attempt to wrap up all his loose ends. Yeah, remember Harvest? The MAIN reason the Teen Titans formed in the first place? He's finally back. And I almost feel a little excited, in spite of myself. He truly was a cool-looking villain, and Rocafort makes him look great. Oh, what's that? Harvest and Superboy don't actually appear in this issue? This should have been the cover of the annual? Of course. How else could this series end?

Our story picks right up where we left off last issue, with Bunker and Beast Boy battling some ... uh ... shadows? on Red Robin's massive yacht, currently docked at the Chelsea Piers in Manhattan. The shadows seem to be coming from two young men, one in black, one in white (I think these guys were supposed to debut in issue #17, but Lobdell got distracted with Trigon).

During the incredibly boring fight, Raven randomly — and all too conveniently — declares with a huge smile on her face that she is finally free of Trigon's influence. So I guess Lobdell can check that box off. And Lobdell checks off another box by having Skitter appear out of nowhere. Remember her? One of the founding members of the team who disappeared during the Culling, and then nobody bothered even looking for her? Well, she's back now. And I'm sure she has a good explanation for where she was, but I don't care.

The next box Lobdell checks off is the completely inexplicable return of that mysterious government agency that erased everyone's mind after the Trigon attack. If you'll remember, that team was led by a black woman, who looks and acts just like Amanda Waller but isn't (I think). Well, it turns out this lady is Skitter's mom. Shocker! I guess. Anyway, this organization takes away the two evil brothers, who called themselves the Light and the Way, and they all disappear in a flash of blue light.

After Skitter tells a very long and boring story, our heroes are suddenly attacked by Grymm. Seriously. I told you Lobdell wanted to check off all his boxes. In case you've forgotten (and who could blame you),  Grymm battled the Teen Titans way back in issue #6, while Static Shock was creating Kid Flash's suit. Anyway, I guess that "fight" ends in a cliffhanger, sending readers to Teen Titans Annual #3, which we will not read, because Kid Flash does not make a proper, speaking appearance in it.

But Bar Torr does appear in this issue. Kiran (still in her human form ... perhaps stuck that way?) and Bar are struggling to survive on the hostile planet Takron-Galtos. A big blue guy tries to eat Kiran, but Bar is able to kill him fairly easily with a spear.

Kiran worries that this is going to be their life now — doing whatever it takes just to survive. Which is what Bar had to do his entire life, and Solstice had to do for ... what, three years(?) in the Culling. And even though she didn't hesitate for a second about killing a judge in cold blood just so she could be sent to this prison planet, Kiran is suddenly distraught over the idea of violence. Bar comforts his girlfriend, promising to one day liberate this world, assuring Solstice that they are always going to be Titans.

The End




This series was a disastrous failure. To be fair, Lobdell's momentum was constantly derailed by crossovers such as Death of the Family and Forever Evil. But look at what he did when he wasn't interrupted by outside stories, especially the lackluster Trigon encounter. Lobdell was ambitious, sure, but he lacked focus. He loved to ask questions, but was loathe to answer them. He liberally planted seeds throughout his tale, but he often failed when it came to ... well, harvest them. Lobdell also didn't get much help from his art teams, either. When Brett Booth ends up as your best artist, something is wrong.

But don't worry about the Teen Titans. They're too big to fail. Just a few months after this series ended, DC launched a new Teen Titans series, resetting the numbering under Will Pfeifer and Kenneth Rocafort. The team roster was exactly the same, as was the continuity, so DC really had no justification for starting over at issue #1 instead of just continuing with issue #31. The only major difference I saw was Beast Boy returned to his classic green coloring. And unless I'm mistaken, DC never explained that change. Sigh. This really has been a rough era for DC.

This issue also included a backup story about Beast Boy helping Bunker reunite with his boyfriend, only to promptly return to New York in time to reunite with the Teen Titans.

Channel 52 shows off Brett Booth's unbearable art on The Flash. You can look up my old New 52 Flash blog to relive my pain of that run.

All Access presents the new series Secret Origins.

Well, that's it for Bar Torr, right? Wrong! But ... we're not going to see him for a full year. In the meantime, we will explore the very brief and criminally few appearances of other versions of Bart Allen. The first is in Multiversity: The Just #1, which came out six months after this issue.

Teen Titans #29

Sentences

Scott Lobdell Writer
Scott McDaniel Breakdowns
Tyler Kirkham Artist
Arif Prianto Colorist
Travis Lanham Letterer
Brett Booth, Norm Rapmund & Andrew Dalhouse Cover
Robot Chicken Variant Cover by RC Stoodios, LLC
Anthony Marques -- Assistant Editor
Mike Cotton -- Editor
Eddie Berganza -- Group Editor
Superboy created by Jerry Siegel
By special arrangement with the Jerry Siegel family

Once again we have a fun variant that I don't have easy access to, and since it doesn't include Kid Flash, I won't worry about it. Our main cover follow's last issue's trend of basically being a full issue behind. There's no question if Solstice will go too far — she already did go too far on the last page of Teen Titans #28. The only real question is whether Bar will continue to love Kiran after she insanely decided to kill a judge in cold blood, just to share Bar's sentence. There's also a gruesome aspect of this cover. Are we looking through the hole in the judge's torso at our "heroes"?

Our story begins with a little peek at Solstice's origin story. But, frankly, it's too little too late for me to care. In the present, Kiran and Bar are in adjoining cells. Shockingly, for the first time ever, we see Kiran in her human form. I was always under the impression that she was permanently stuck in her black energy form. Oh well. I guess there's always still time for a few more continuity-ignoring changes.

Anyway, the conversation between our two "lovebirds" is quite predictable. Bar sadly tells Kiran she shouldn't have thrown her life away for him, and Kiran melodramatically claims she can't live without him. One would think that Bar would be horrified and repulsed by Kiran's rash decision, especially after all the lectures she gave him about not killing, but he's not. One would also think that the Functionary would punish Kiran by not sending her to the same planet with her boyfriend, since, you know, giving somebody exactly what they want can't qualify as a punishment, but here we are.

Red Robin comes to say his final goodbyes, finally admitting that if he grew up in Bar's world, he might have done the same thing. This is quite frustrating since he spent so much time piously looking down on Bar's past in this story, and we still haven't seen anyone besides Bar acknowledge how incredibly wrong it is for the Functionary to murder people who believe in religion. Anyway, Tim and Bar share rather diplomatic farewells, but Kiran refuses to let Tim speak.

And with that, Bar and Kiran are blasted off toward the planet Takron-Galtos. I wish I could say that's the last we'll ever see of this most unsatisfying version of Bart Allen ... but it's not. This issue ends with Tim kissing Wonder Girl, who has apparently decided to dump Superboy after the Fake Superboy told her off page that he's going to stay here in the future (despite his repeated desires to return to the past last issue). Brain 3 sends Raven, Red Robin and Wonder Girl home, and they're immediately thrust into a battle with Beast Boy and Bunker.




It wouldn't be a Lobdell story without tons of inconsistencies. Really, it's just incredibly disappointing that all these people involved, the three editors, the three or four artists, and, of course, the writer, just didn't care. You especially can see that when a series is canceled. Everybody just goes through the motions, waiting for the end. And that's quite a disaster for DC. Teen Titans is one of their premiere teams. It was simply inexcusable for this series to be pulled after only 30 issues. Or rather, it's inexcusable that Lobdell was allowed to last on this series for 30 issues. Oh well, we only have one more of these to suffer through (there is also an annual, but Kid Flash doesn't appear in it — at least in a major, speaking role).

Channel 52 shows two uncolored pages of the next Superboy issue.

All Access provides a checklist of the upcoming Green Lantern crossover.

Next time, we'll finally conclude this disaster of a series with Teen Titans #30.

Teen Titans #28

Without You

Written by Scott Lobdell
Breakdowns by Scott McDaniel
Pencils by Tyler Kirkham
Inks by Art Thibert
Letters by Travis Lanham
Cover by Brett Booth, Norm Rapmund & Andrew Dalhouse
Steampunk variant by Jason Pearson
Asst. Editor: Anthony Marques
Editor: Mike Cotton
Group Editor: Eddie Berganza
Superboy created by Jerry Siegel
By special arrangement with the Jerry Siegel family

The digital copy of this comic doesn't include the steampunk variant, and since Kid Flash isn't on it anyway, I won't bother grabbing it from a third-party source. Our main cover shows Bar Torr being found guilty, which would be shocking if he didn't declare himself "guilty as hell" last issue. Or if he hadn't already confessed to his crimes and been placed in witness protection before this series even began. So that makes this a rather anticlimactic cover. I don't know why Bar is crackling with energy when he's standing motionless. And I have never understood his romance with Solstice. Why do they like each other?

Our story picks up somewhen in the late 30th century at the Echo Station, where Bar is leading a rebellion against the Functionary, with the Teen Titans caught in the middle. Even though Red Robin and company were horrified at the thought of Bar killing anyone in this war, nobody seems to notice Fake Superboy dragging two of Bar's men out into space and tossing them in a sun.

During the chaos inside, Red Robin has given his team the unhelpfully vague order of "keep them from killing each other." Bar wraps Wonder Girl up in her own lasso, admitting he doesn't want to hurt the Titans, but he also can't let them stop him from taking down the evil government body that killed his family for the crime of believing in religion. Solstice attacks Bar from behind, declaring Bar's war against an oppressive government unjust. Bar is hurt by this betrayal, but when he tries to attack his girlfriend, she counters him by saying he's not faster than light (or her reaction time, apparently).

One of Bar's men tells Red Robin the Teen Titans should be on his side, but Tim believes there has to be a better way to fight a war than attacking and killing people. Brain 3 comes to Red Robin's aid, but he's also slightly critical of her massively evil government. Unfortunately, this debate is far too sophisticated for Lobdell, so we quickly cut to Fake Superboy randomly lifting Kid Flash out into space. And I say "randomly" because last issue, Fake Superboy couldn't stop thinking about how he wanted to kill the Teen Titans. So why doesn't he do that right now, using the chaos of the battle as cover?

Anyway, Bar suddenly gained the ability to breathe in space, and he and Fake Superboy have a fairly lengthy conversation, which escalates to Fake Superboy threatening to tear off Bar's head unless he calls off his men, and Bar threatening to vibrate Superboy's bones to dust. Suddenly, a gigantic ship teleports out of thin air right next to our bickering boys. Bar says, "It ... is a starslayer ... the deadliest ship in the Functionary's armada. It has one setting. Annihilation." (I hate this dialogue!)

A platform emerges from the starslayer, revealing Bar's "little" sister, who looks 20 even though she's supposed to be 10. Shira says she's been ordered to terminate ever sentient creature within a hundred thousand miles, which I find unlikely, considering the important judges and politicians currently fighting for survival in the Echo Chamber. Fake Superboy wants to call Shira's bluff and continue the fight, but Bar doesn't, and knocks out the imposter with a headbutt. Shira then tells Bar that their parents were justly killed in a brutal manner because it was wrong of them to believe in "an imaginary god." If Lobdell could maintain a shred of consistency from issue to issue, that line would have sent Bar into a murderous rage. Instead, it's time for the story to end, so Bar surrenders sorrowfully.

The next day, Bar's trial resumes in the partially destroyed courtroom. Shira actually asks for mercy on Bar's behalf, but the judges turn her down. Bar is sentenced to a life of hard labor on the planet Tekron-Galtos with no hope of parole. Bar accepts this sentence, but Solstice, Red Robin and Wonder Girl suddenly object, contradicting all their talk of accepting the government's decree, no matter how corrupt. Bar tells his former teammates to stand down, giving a sappy speech about how he loved being Bart Allen for those few brief moments, and, more practically, how the Functionary will continue to hunt them down through time if they fight for him.

Red Robin agrees to respect Bar's wishes, but Solstice doesn't. She demands to be banished to Tehran-Galtos with Bar, but the judges refuse, pointing out that she has committed no crimes. Bar gives Kiran and unbearable speech, and she responds with an even sappier one about how she can't live in a world without Bart Allen. Suddenly, she kills one of the judges and demands to be sentenced with her boyfriend.




In case you couldn't tell, I absolutely hate this story. Lobdell was completely unable to keep straight the motivations of Bar Torr, Fake Superboy and Raven. Not to mention all the things this creative team kept forgetting. Remember that one issue where Bar's speech bubbles alternated between red and green, depending on "evil" he was feeling? That was actually cool! But then it was dropped the next issue and never came back. But the biggest thing that gets under my skin is the message that believing in religion is not only stupid, but justifiable cause for the government to brutally murder you. Everybody in this story was horrified by Bar's actions, but no one, not even in the slightest, batted an eye at the murder of Bar's parents. It's basically, "Bar, your parents were idiots, get over it." And, "Being in a war is no justification for killing people! ... Unless I want to be with my boyfriend, then I'll totally commit cold-blooded murder!" This series can't end fast enough.

Channel 52 talks about Superman and Wonder Woman battling General Zod.

We also get a new feature, the DC Comics All Access page, which fulfills the same purpose of Channel 52, but in a less cheesy way. This edition talks about Supergirl fighting Lobo.

Next issue: Don't miss the penultimate issue of Teen Titans!

Teen Titans #27

State's Evidence

Written by: Scott Lobdell
Breakdowns: Scott McDaniel
Pencils: Tyler Kirkham
Inks: Art Thibert
Color: Arif Prianto
Letters: Taylor Esposito
Cover: Brett Booth, Norm Rapmund & Andrew Dalhouse
Assistant Editor: Anthony Marques
Editor: Mike Cotton
Group Editor: Eddie Berganza
Superboy created by Jerry Siegel
By special arrangement with the Jerry Siegel family

Our cover depicts a scene that in no way, shape or form appears in this issue. Kid Flash certainly does not "fall," requiring his teammates to protect him. I will, however, give credit to Booth for putting Raven and Superboy off in the distance, removed from all the action. Which makes sense, since this Superboy really isn't Superboy and Raven is still secretly working on Trigon's over-convoluted plan. Can we count Bar Torr as the third secretly evil Titan? Last issue, I would have said no, but this issue ...

Our story picks up in the latter part of the 30th century, at Echo Headquarters, located in a remote corner of the universe. After learning the truth of Bar Torr's past, the Teen Titans couldn't even bear to look at him anymore, and have split up to go off and be angsty. Solstice is with Red Robin, who seems to forgive her for killing people during the Culling, but not Bar for killing people during his war against the Functionary. But Tim does hope Bar gets a fair trial, even though I don't understand why he's having another trial. He already had one and he confessed to everything, spilling all the secrets of his rebellion in exchange for witness protection. The Functionary sent him back in time with a lazily conceived fake identity. And it didn't work — Bar's rebels were able to track him down and seek revenge on their former leader for betraying them. And now that Bar's back in the future, he's getting another trial because ... reasons?

Last issue ended with Bar remorsefully begging his friends to understand that he's changed since the war. But in this issue, he seems to have pulled a complete 180 on his attitude. Wonder Girl visits him in his new handcuffs, and for some reason acts like the name "Bar" is completely different from "Bart." Anyway, Bar is uncharacteristically manipulative with Cassie and warns her of an impending war.

Fake Superboy secretly laments not being able to kill all the Teen Titans yet — I guess he's still too weak now or something — so he continues to pretend he's a good guy. He asks why they don't just bust Kid Flash our of his prison, but Red Robin reiterates his belief that Bar was not justified in killing people during war. Besides, he points out that they're ill-equipped to overthrow this futuristic government.

Brain 3 then leads them to the trial, which I guess is ostensibly to see if Bar has reformed during his inadequately provided witness protection and can be set free ... I think ... nothing's particularly clear here. The dialogue in this issue also repeatedly stresses the enormous amount of corrupt politicians who have shown up at this trial, although the art does a poor job of conveying that.

In Bar's opening statement, he says he didn't wage war for himself, his family, or all the people starving and suffering under the Functionary's rule, but for justice. Yeah, I know all the things he said fall under the category of "justice," but Bar (Lobdell) isn't a very good speechmaker. After speaking on the nature of freedom for a bit, Bar concludes his remarks by saying he's "guilty as hell."

Suddenly, the roof of the tribunal blows up and a bunch of people are sucked up into space. I think the roof quickly re-seals itself, trapping some people in it, but once again, clarity is not this issue's strong suit. Bar's handcuffs are teleported away ... somehow ... and he explains that this attack was all part of his master plan, stemming from when he turned himself in after his sister was wounded. Bar says he gave a few months of his life to "Bart Allen," knowing that when he returned to the future, it would create the trial of the century, turning many of his enemies into sitting ducks. Of course, Bart's initial trial already was the trial of the century, but hey, Lobdell just has to make everything needlessly complicated and inefficient.

Bar's rebellion has extended to many of the guards, who have released and armed the prisoners. As Bar's army marches upstairs to finish off the rest of the corrupt dignitaries and politicians, Solstice stupidly says, "This isn't war — it is a slaughter." Red Robin also idiotically stands in Bar's way, saying he won't let him kill all those people, so Bar orders his men to kill them all.




If Bar had planned this attack back when he first turned himself in, you'd think that truth-telling memory probe would have picked that up. Instead of, you know, showing that Bar was distraught over the collateral damage his rebellion was causing. Anyway, this is all a result of Lobdell not knowing what kind of story he wanted to tell and changing his mind every other issue. He could have made this Kid Flash the New 52 version of Inertia — Bart Allen's evil clone that took his place and, over the course of pretending to be a hero, actually became one by accident, leading to incredible emotional conflict. Lobdell could have told the story that Todd Dezago never finished. Of course, Lobdell would have screwed it up, so I'm glad he didn't attempt that.

What he did attempt was a deep conversation on the necessary evils of war, but such a topic was far too sophisticated for him. I don't understand how Red Robin or any of the Teen Titans could see the Functionary as anything other than pure evil. They brutally murdered Bar's parents because they believed in religion. This thrust Bar onto the streets and into a daily kill-or-be-killed scenario. How could Red Robin justify Solstice killing people in the Culling but not Bar killing people in an actual, all-out war? And how come nobody called him out on this? Bar was reduced to a pure evil villain this issue because Lobdell lacks any nuance.

Next issue: The final sentence of Kid Flash.

Teen Titans #26

You Can't Go Home Again

Written by Scott Lobdell
Breakdowns: Scott McDaniel
Pencils: Tyler Kirkham
Inks: Art Thibert and Dan Green
Letters: Travis Lanham
Color: Arif Prianto and Stellar Labs
Cover: Booth, Rapmund and Dalhouse
Assistant Editor: Anthony Marques
Editor: Mike Cotton
Group Editor: Eddie Berganza
Superboy created by Jerry Siegel
By special arrangement with the Jerry Siegel family

Our cover shows a flashback of Bar Torr dressed in the black-and-blue suit we saw in some of the previous flashbacks, but not all. He's surrounded by rubble and chaos, holding an injured 30-year-old woman. (She's throwing me off because she looks exactly like Brett Booth's Iris West, but he drew this cover before he took over The Flash. I guess he can only draw so many female body types.) In an odd, but slightly interesting effect, transparent images of Kid Flash and the Teen Titans are seen in the background. I guess that's to represent them reliving this memory, even though in the story they're literally just watching a TV screen.

Our story begins with Bar Torr finally remembering everything about himself. He was the son of two missionaries on Altros Prime who incurred the wrath of the Functionary. They sent a goon squad called the Purifiers to brutally murder Bar's parents, while the 8-year-old boy hid in a crawl space with his baby sister, Shira (who, by the way, was the fattest, ugliest baby you've ever seen). As the Purifiers torched Bar's apartment, he leapt out the window with Shira in his arms. It was a long fall, but Bar miraculously landed unharmed in a pile of mud.

Little Bar and the improbably fat Shira spent the next few years living on the street, starving, stealing and doing what they had to survive. One time, Bar broke into a man's store, and when the man threatened Shira, Bar killed the man with a large shard of glass. Bar realized it was too difficult to protect his sister, so he left her at a convent called the Sisterhood of the Word.

With his newfound freedom, Bar decided to enlist with the Purifiers, realizing he was too young to kill them. The Purifiers immediately put him to work as one of their delivery boys. Orphans were expendable and children were small and light, allowing them to put more contraband into the tiny ships that rocketed across the galaxy on three-day voyages. Bar made about two dozen of these trips until one day he crashed on a planet. Somehow, someway, this crash gave him super speed. He doesn't know if it was the radiation in his ship or if the near-death experience merely activated a latent metagene.

For some reason, it took a whole month for the Purifiers to come looking for their cargo. Empowered with super speed, Bar began striking back against the Purifiers and Functionary. He got himself a black-and-blue outfit, recruited an army and stole some ships which he decorated with the Flash logo. They went from planet to planet, liberating the people from the Functionary. But one day, Bar' sister was wounded during an attack led by Bar, and he mournfully cradled her body like on the cover. It's unclear whether she was an innocent bystander or a soldier fighting against Bar's forces. And strangely, she looks about 10 years older than him, even though she's supposed to be seven years younger.

Bar couldn't live with himself after nearly killing his sister, so he surrendered to the Functionary and told them everything about his rebellion. In exchange for his information, Bar was placed in witness protection, which involved sending him back to the 20th century under the name Bart Allen (for whatever insane reason). It's unclear whether Bar's memory loss was the result of the time traveling or a deliberate action of the Functionary.

Anyway, after Bar's story concludes, he tells his friends that he's changed since then and they know what's in his heart now after all their adventures together. But none of them, not even Solstice, can look Kid Flash in the eye.




Argh! So many inconsistencies! That's what happens when you have a writer slowly leak out tiny bits of a story over a two-year period, when he hasn't even written the story yet! But let's set everything aside and look at just this issue. Bar's actions were completely justified. The Functionary and Purifiers were abhorrent, evil entities that brutally murdered kind people just trying to practice their religion. If Bar didn't slice that man's throat with the glass, his sister would have been raped. And his rebellion was an act of heroism. Who cares how many people he killed? They're at war! Soldiers know what they're signing up for!

The only potentially creepy aspect of Bar's backstory was last issue's scene of him surrounded by blood and skulls in his green-and-yellow uniform. But that was never explained. This issue only portrayed him as a heroic, courageous young man, who grew up in a tough world of conflict, and did what he had to survive, while helping as many people as possible. So why are the Teen Titans so uncomfortable around Bar? And just as a reminder, the current roster of the Teen Titans features an evil impersonator disguised as Superboy and Raven, who is still secretly working for Trigon. How many double agents can one team handle?

Oh, and can we talk about Lobdell's super lame explanation for Bar's powers? The Flash made a point of emphasizing that Kid Flash isn't connected to the Speed Force. So where DID his powers come from? Just luck? And why did the Functionary in its infinite wisdom give Bar Torr the name Bart Allen? This is impressively lazy writing. You have to look hard to find another comic created with as little thought as this one.

Channel 52 talks about Justice League 3000, a series that takes place in a future that is completely different from the future the Teen Titans are currently visiting. Because, you know, it'd be too much to ask these creators to talk to each other.

Next time, we'll take a very quick look at the short-lived Green Team series.