Director: Vinton Heuck
Writer: Greg Weisman
We pick up in Metropolis on September 14 at 5:46 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time, where General Zod is ordering Superboy to kill Superman in front of the world. We then cut back to the North Pole, just five minutes earlier, where we see Nightwing meeting up with Miss Martian and her team. Dick had faked his death to escape Zod, and Miss Martian created an illusion causing Zod to believe everyone on her ship except for Superman had died. (I’m not sure exactly why this seemed more like a move to fool the audience than anything, but that’s beside the point.) A few heroes on the Bio-Ship were actually wounded, though, and Kid Flash offers to retrieve some medical supplies. He expresses concern for Green Lantern Forager, and Bio-Ship “spits out” the Cosmic Treadmill, indicating that she also is quite injured. Nightwing sadly reports that the Kryptonians destroyed the Fortress of Solitude’s Zeta Tubes, meaning they won’t be able to teleport directly to Metropolis. However, Bio-Ship’s baby suddenly shows up, eager to help our heroes.
Back in Metropolis, Zod tells Conner to prove he’s a member of the Zod family by killing Superman. But at the word “family,” just enough of Conner’s memories return for him to fight the brainwashing and refuse Zod’s order. Frustrated, Zod pulls out the Kryptonite to kill both Superman and Superboy, but Kid Flash zooms in just in the nick of time and yoinks the Kryptonite away. Lor-Zod chases after Bart, but is hit by a magic flying school bus driven by Artemis, Kaldur and Zatanna. (There’s a long, complicated story behind that, but it doesn’t really matter too much. The important thing is all the original Team members are coming back together for one more big fight.)
We cut to the Baby Bio-Ship flying over the Eastern Seaboard at 6:08 a.m. (suggesting Zod was speaking for about 15 minutes straight). The only heroes on board are Miss Martian, Nightwing, Saturn Girl, Chameleon Boy and Phantom Girl. (Convenient how the nonessential heroes were the ones who were injured.) Meanwhile, in Metropolis, Zod finally decides to bring his whole army out of the Phantom Zone, but he’s only able to get two more Kryptonians before Zatanna shuts off the Boom Tube. Lor-Zod almost smashes Tigress with a car, but Kid Flash pulls her away at the last second, cockily saying, “Double yoink!” However, Bart was so excited to go for the “triple yoink,” that he didn’t stop to think that grabbing the Emerald Eye might be a bad idea. Kid Flash is electrocuted with magical green energy, which knocks him out for the rest of the fight. (Remember what I said about nonessential heroes being injured?)
By the time Bart wakes up, all the bad guys have been sent to the Phantom Zone, except for Ursa, who was whisked away to the planet Daxam by the Emerald Eye, and Lor-Zod, who escaped in the Time-Sphere that Rocket inexplicably showed up in. Well, it’s not entirely inexplicable. We eventually find out the Time-Sphere was set up by Metron to have Lor-Zod killed by the bomb he planted on Mars six months earlier. But none of our heroes realize this, and they are left to conclude that they may have won the battle, but lost the war.
We then skip ahead to Happy Harbor on September 16 at 16:16 EDT. (We get it, Greg Weisman! You’re obsessed with the number 16!) Conner and M’gann are finally getting married and everyone’s invited. Black Canary suggests creating a Sanctuary to help heroes with mental health issues, and Superman suggests turning the planet Trombus into a prison planet for the Kryptonians stuck in the Phantom Zone. However, none of our heroes realize that Vandal Savage had Klarion pull all the Kryptonians out of the Phantom Zone and imprisoned in Warworld. Savage gave one Kryptonian to Darkseid as tribute and set Ma’alefa’ak free. Darkseid rewards the White Martian and his followers with the planet Durla.
Bart Allen oddly decided to attend the wedding in his Kid Flash uniform (he’s not the only one, but it still feels strange). Just as he was trying to convince the three Legionnaires to acclimate to life in the 21st century, a Time-Sphere appears in front of them, revealing Brainiac 5 (who doesn’t have a nose for some reason?!). Brainiac 5 tells Saturn Girl, Chameleon Boy and Phantom Girl that he’s here to take them home, as he’s calculated a 99.84% likelihood that the timeline has been substantially restored. Chameleon Boy worries about the other 0.16% (sixteen again!!), but Bart convinces him to relax and the Legionnaires immediately take off, refusing to stay for the wedding or explain to Superboy why he was so important to their timeline.
The wedding finally begins and when I say everybody is there, I literally mean everybody. Every single character we’ve ever seen on this show is in the audience. Bart sits next to Eduardo, but they’re not holding hands or anything. Snapper Carr inexplicably officiates the wedding and Superman’s son, Jon, is the ring bearer. Megan, who chose to be wed in her human form, exchanges vows with Conner and credits roll. During the credits, Snapper comments on how the newlyweds are having their first dance 16 feet in the air. (Seriously, enough already! There are other numbers!) And after the credits, we see that Granny Goodness has recruited Mary Marvel and Supergirl into her Furies.
I didn’t intend to take off five months between reviews. I mostly blame my newborn son for that. However, I will also admit I wasn’t terribly excited to do this episode. Yes, I know a lot of stuff happened here, but most of it was setup for a fifth season that might never happen — especially with all the turmoil surrounding HBO Max and DC right now. The episode kind of felt like a Geoff Johns comic that was overburdened with planting seeds for future ideas that may or may not come to fruition. But unlike Johns, Weisman did remember to wrap up everything he set up in this season, and I do appreciate that. I just felt it was a little contrived to get the original Team back together once more. At least we didn’t have any more awkward visions of Wally.
And as for poor Bart? Well, he was there. And that’s something. I’m glad he wasn’t completely forgotten. But I’m sad no one thought of anything interesting for him to do. Which has been my main complaint across all DC for quite a few years now. Where’s Peter David when you need him? But seriously, if you take Bart Allen away from Young Justice: Phantoms, I don’t think anything would have changed. The closest bit to an essential plot point he provided was being a missing person for Nightwing to investigate. And that’s pretty sad that his role was diminished so much on this show.
Granted, I don’t completely blame the show for this. Its cast of characters grew exponentially each season, making it all but impossible for satisfying character arcs. All of the Outsiders not named Beast Boy were completely relegated to the background of this season. So, in the end, I actually think it’s good that this show might finally die for good this time. It tried to do too much and turned into an unwieldy, monstrous beast. This is a mercy killing. Of course, this world might find new life in the comics. The story does continue in a six-issue series that does have a tiny bit of Kid Flash, so I will be reviewing that. And maybe, just maybe, if that series is received well, DC will let Weisman and company keep telling these stories in a more suitable format.
Next time (and hopefully it won’t be another five months), I’ll be taking a very quick look at the Tim Drake special that was part of DC’s Pride celebration.
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