Superboy #5

The Superboy/Kid Flash Race!

Jeff Lemire Writer
Pier Gallo Artist
Jamie Grant Colorist
John J. Hill Letterer
Eddy Barrows, J.P. Mayer & Grant Cover
Francis Manapul Variant Cover
Wil Moss Assoc. Editor
Matt Idelson Editor

Our cover shows a 35-year-old Superboy courageously racing Kid Flash. I know this is Superboy's book, but did we really need to fill this cover up with his abnormally large and veiny bicep and neck? Couldn't we make Bart just a little bigger? I mean, this is the first Superboy/Kid Flash race ever (Superboy did race Impulse once, way back in his Ravers days), so let's give Bart a little more love! I will say I do like the optimistic, bright tone of this cover. Our heroes are out having fun in the sunshine, and I do appreciate that. But the bland cover and the tiny, freckled Bart, really hurts.

I love Francis Manapul, and I like how he drew Bart, here, but this cover really doesn't work as well for me. Superboy's face is odd and distracting. And the muted colors give this a rather somber feeling, which doesn't match up with the main tone of this race. It's supposed to be a joyful occasion. Also, Manapul kind of spoiled the ending with the inclusion of Krypto here.

Without getting bogged down in the day-to-day minutiae of Conner's home life in Smallville, let's just start our story at the beginning of the race. Our story takes place right after Conner broke up with Cassie, but before the Teen Titans went on their adventure with Tim Drake. So when the team shows up, we have Beast Boy, Raven, Ravager and Damian Wayne. Notably absent is Wonder Girl, much to Superboy's dismay.

Bart is happily signing autographs before the race, and Kon asks him if he should be stretching, instead. Bart says Kon's the one who should be stretching, and jokingly hopes that Kon's black T-shirt is aerodynamic. Pete Ross is the master of ceremonies, and he gets everybody in position, announcing that with the help of the Justice League Watchtower, this race will be broadcast on TV around the world. He also says the race has already raised half a million dollars for Smallville farmers who had their crops destroyed by Parasite. As Bart and Kon take their mark, Beast Boy whispers to Bart that he should go easy on Superboy. But Kon says, "I heard that, Garth!" Which is weird, because Beast Boy's full name if Garfield.

Anyway, the race begins, with Bart and Kon following the complicated route Mr. Terrific laid out for them in order to draw out the race as much as possible. The route has our racers zigzagging across the globe several times, but luckily Bart and Kon were able to memorize the map in less than 30 seconds.  Also, in the spirit of keeping things interesting, our heroes are more than happy to stop for a few detours along the way. They prevent a bank robbery in London, capture King Shark in Hawaii, save a falling window washer in Toronto and battle the Royal Flush gang in France. And Superboy's faithful dog, Krypto, is following along behind the racers, trying his best to keep up.

Sounds fun, right? Well, Superboy's heart really isn't in the race, and Bart can tell. So he makes Kon take a breather at the top of an Egyptian pyramid and talk about what's on his mind. Bart starts off by saying Cassie really wanted to come to the race, but she got too busy with Titans stuff back at the tower. Kon tells Bart he doesn't have to lie for Cassie, saying he knows she chose not to come because it's been too weird between them since their breakup. Kon admits that he's not used to this post-relationship phase yet, but says it always felt like something was pulling them apart whenever they were together.

Bart insists they were the dream couple, having what everybody wants to have, and he predicts they'll get back together again. Kon says it won't work this time, so Bart jokes about how Cassie is way out of Kon's league, and that he might go her himself. Kon says that Bart's a dead man if he so much as takes a light speed glance at Cassie. So Bart consoles Kon by pointing out that he still has Krypto to keep him company. Kon thanks Bart for being himself, which prompts Bart to resume the race, urging S.B. to not get "super-sentimental" on him. Kon follows him down the pyramid, saying, "In your dreams, short stuff!"

So our two racers continue their tour past all the world's famous landmarks, with news reporters from every country commenting on the race. Bart and Kon have kept things close so far, which has led to some to speculate that Kid Flash is merely toying with Superboy. Bart seems to prove this theory by asking Kon if he should start trying, now that they're approaching the finish line in Smallville. Kon jokes that Bart's mouth is the only thing faster than him, but he suddenly comes to a complete stop at the sight of the Phantom Stranger standing by Lori Luthor's house.

Bart stops when he sees Kon's stopped and asks him what's wrong. The Phantom Stranger is nowhere in sight, leading Bart to initially believe that Kon is losing it. When he sees how serious Kon is, Bart promises to help him figure it out later, but reminds him that there's a big crowd waiting for them to finish this race right now. So the two friends continue the last stretch of the race, once again staying neck-and-neck right up to the last second. Pete Ross is at the finish line with a megaphone, saying, "And the winner is ... KRYPTO?!" It's unclear if Krypto actually did cross the line first, or if his appearance surprised Ross into blurting out his name. In either case, Krypto is officially crowned the winner of the race. Bart can't believe it, but his fellow Titans take great delight in Bart's pain.

Superboy tells his friends and Raven about the Phantom Stranger. Raven says this means evil can't be far behind. But whatever the reason was, we'll never find out, as this was Bart's last appearance in this Superboy series before Flashpoint.




This was a pretty fun story. It would have been more fun with better art, and if it wasn't weighed down by so much of the melodramatic, convoluted continuity of this series. Much like J.T. Krul on Teen Titans, Jeff Lemire had big, long-term plans for this series that got cut short by Flashpoint. Anyway, I was happy to see that this race followed the same formula of most of the classic Flash/Superman races of the past. As Barry said in Rebirth, "Those were for charity." Which means that he intentionally kept things close to be entertaining. And I'd like to think that was Bart's plan all along, and that he was just acting upset by the stunning Krypto victory. Because, at the end of the day, this whole thing was for Superboy and his community. And everything Bart did, including that little heart-to-heart, was all about cheering up Kon.

Next time, we'll find out why Superman and the Flash weren't able to attend the race in Superman #709.