Relative Heroes #3

Free Lunch

Devin Grayson Writer
Yvel Guichet Penciller
Mark Propst Inker
Bil Oakley Letterer
Rob Schwager Colorist/Seps
Frank Berrios Asst. Editor
Jordan B. Gorfinkel & Darren Vincenzo Editors
Relative Heroes created by Grayson & Guichet

Our cover by Guichet shows one of the Relative Heroes, a young girl named Temper, who has electric-based powers. This cover is an annoying reminder of how excited the world was in the year 2000 to use the word millennium in everyday conversation. Other than that, I really don't have that much to say about this cover. I don't particularly like Guichet's style, but I am always happy to see the interior artist also draw the cover.

Time for a disclaimer: I don't know anything about the Relative Heroes. This is the third part of their six-part miniseries, and they never really caught on after that. I also have not read the first two parts of this story, so I am supremely confused by everything here. This issue does try to explain the basics, but I also think it is intentionally confusing to a degree. The Relative Heroes are a group of wayward orphan teenagers, caught in the middle of a huge mystery they don't understand. And they're still having a hard time trying to understand themselves. So how can a casual reader such as myself hope to understand anything?

So apparently the Relative Heroes (who still haven't come up with a team name or any code names for themselves) received super suits from someone they know to be a bad guy. They're also being chased by the D.E.O. (and possibly other people), so they stole a Winnebago and are making a cross-country trip to Metropolis to see Superman. Of course, the kids on this team can't even agree on the reason why they want to see Superman, or if they even do want to see him. In any case, their trip takes them through Manchester, Alabama, where they're hoping to get some help from Impulse. (Some of the teens believe a fellow teenage hero would do a better job of understanding them than an adult hero.)

As soon as the Relative Heroes enter Manchester, they're met by a young, aspiring super villain named Metalhead. The disorganized teenagers try to prepare for battle, but they mostly stand around arguing about what they should do. Luckily, Impulse on the scene, and he knocks down Metalhead before he can do any real damage. Unfortunately, Impulse pushed Metalhead's large suit of armor right on top of three of the teenagers. And somehow, Temper's electrical powers caused a grassfire around her. Impulse quickly puts out the fire, and pries Metalhead off the teens by taking apart the armor piece by piece. The kid inside that suit begins gathering up his armor and everyone just kind of ignores him as they excitedly introduce themselves to Impulse. The one most excited to meet him is a boy named Cam, who can mimic the powers of any nearby superheroes. Cam is eager to test out Impulse's speed, and he challenges him to a race, which Impulse instantly agrees to.

Impulse arrives a split second later, explaining that he decided to run around the Great Lakes, but Cam apparently tried to run across them. The other teens tell Impulse that once he and Cam became separated, Cam lost his super-speed, which means he's likely swimming in Lake Huron right now. So Impulse rushes off to save Cam, comes back and realizes that three of the teens did get pretty banged up when Metalhead fell on them. So Bart decides to show them some Southern hospitality by taking all five of the teenagers one-by-one to his house to recuperate.

Of course, Bart instantly remembers that Max doesn't like having superheroes on the front lawn, so he quickly rushes them inside, only to realize that Max probably wouldn't like having superheroes inside the house, either. But Bart quickly finds Max, explains the situation, and justifies himself by saying he'll protect his secret identity by pretending he's just visiting this house. Seeing as how he has no choice in the matter, Max puts on his costume and tries questioning the Relative Heroes.

Max's simple questions are each met with five different, complicated answers. So I'm not even going to try to get into their complicated backstory and conflicting goals. One thing Max can see for certain is these kids' nerves are frayed. So he invites them all to stay for lunch, and tells them to sit still for a moment and think about what they're going to do. However, as Max is busy tending to the distressed teens, he fails to notice Bart and Cam sneaking out to retrieve the Winnebago, which is a pretty bad idea, since neither of them is old enough to drive.

Max finds out one of the teens has a grandfather in Metropolis, so he makes him to call him. The others turn on the TV and see a special report from the D.E.O., accusing one of them of murder. Meanwhile, Bart and Cam are having way too much in the Winnebago, joking about what they could put in the shower besides water, and imitating the driving styles from their favorite videos to escape the cops when they try to pull them over. As soon as the Winnebago gets back to Bart's house, the panicked Relative Heroes quickly load into it, and take off as fast as they can, with the police hot on their trail. Max does nothing to stop them, but he does hit the redial button on his phone to talk to the kids' grandpa.


OK. So that was that. A very confusing and discombobulating situation. And intentionally so, I believe. I think Grayson is hoping that the mystery will hook readers, but it's not working for me. It also doesn't help that the art is just plain bad. The one and only action scene here was a muddled mess, I had to make my best guess at what was happening. I also think Max should have done a better job of taking care of these orphan teenagers. However, it was pretty fun for Bart to hang out with a kid just as wild and impulsive as he is.

There aren't any letters to the editor, so let's check out the new ads:

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Powerade Extinguish thirst and power up with energy yielding carbs. Now available in Infrared Freeze — with a sudden flash of orange.

Jackie Chan Stuntmaster on PlayStation.

Defenders of the chocolate. 3 Musketeers.

Returning this March! Family Guy.

Superboy flies high in this brand-new limited edition cold-cast porcelain statue!

This is one of the greatest pieces of Young Justice merchandise out there. I don't have this statue (yet) or the Robin statue, but I do have the Impulse one, and it is gorgeous.

Now, I usually save Impulse for the end of the month, but in this case, I need to put Impulse #60 before we dive into the amazing Sins of Youth event! See you next time!