Director: David Barrett
Writer: Steven S. DeKnight
So this is something new for this blog — a live version of Bart Allen. He made his first appearance in the fifth episode of the fourth season of Smallville, an episode appropriately titled "Run." This debuted on October 20, 2004 — the same day Teen Titans #17 hit the stands. A word of warning: I never watched Smallville, so I definitely will be missing out on some of the context.
Our story begins in an almost secluded alleyway at 3 p.m., where a couple of shady-looking characters are up to no good. The leader, Mr. Hanison, is getting impatient waiting for some kid. But the kid, played by 18-year-old Kyle Gallner, quickly shows up. He's wearing a red sweater and a backpack with a yellow lightning bolt on it, and his blond hair is perpetually windswept. The kid says he' never late, and when he says he'll be somewhere, he'll be there "like a flash."
He pours out a pile of watches and jewelry, but Hanison is not impressed, offering only $200 for the loot. The kid protests that his stolen goods are worth ten times that amount, but Hanison says he's no longer in the nickel-and-dime business and encourages the kid to come back when he gets something big. The kid suggests he'll take the money and the stolen goods himself. Perceiving a threat, Hanison's goon pulls out a gun. But they're all distracted by a cat knocking over some trash. When the two men turn their heads back, the kid, the $200 and all the stolen goods are gone.
We are then introduced to the hero of our show, 27-year-old Tom Welling, who is (unconvincingly) playing a 17-year-old boy named Clark Kent. He may be an alien with super powers, but right now, all he wants to do is focus on his senior year of high school, hang out with his friends and play football. And we know that Clark is a farmer because he and his dad are both wearing flannel shirts. The two of them are exiting the Metropolis Day Center, where Jonathan has received even more medication to help him recover from his recent three-month coma.
Suddenly, a man driving a big truck loaded with a bunch of large pipes decides it's OK to drink some beer while on the job. He loses control of the truck, and as it careens toward Jonathan, Clark uses his super speed to essentially stop time and race to his father's rescue. But the kid in red actually reaches Jonathan first and saves his life before running away. Jonathan thanks his son, but Clark says he was saved by someone else, someone even faster than him. And Jonathan quickly notices that his savior also made off with his wallet.
The two Kents head back home and Jonathan prepares to call the credit card company to report it stolen. But Clark wants to find out who this fast kid is, so he asks his dad to instead let him have his friend Chloe find out where the thief is using the card. So Jonathan agrees, but he warns Clark to be careful. We're then introduced to a couple of unrelated subplots, one involving Clark's mom, Martha, spending too much time at her coffeeshop, and the other about ... is that Lana Lang? ... and some mysterious tattoo she suddenly got.
The main plot returns with Clark tracking down the fast kid in a hotel room in Metropolis. He breaks the chain lock on the door and has a look around, while the kid takes a shower. Clark sees the kid's loot, clothes, shoes, junk food, some comic books (but I can't tell what they are), the stolen watches and jewelry and a bunch of fake IDs. From Kansas, Jay Garrick; from New York, Wally West; and from California, Barry Allen.
The kid soon comes out of the shower and confronts Clark in his robe. Clark says he used his dad's credit card to pay for the room, but the kid denies it and turns on Clark for rifling through his backpack. Clark accuses him of stealing everything in the room, so the kid gets dressed at super speed, putting on a red hoodie this time, and demands that Clark prove it. Clark says he saw the kid save his dad from the truck earlier, but the kid claims that no one can see him when he's "doing his thing." Clark suggests he may not be the only kid who can move that fast, then goes through the fake IDs, asking what his name is. The kid angrily admits his name is Bart, then claims he'll be a thousand miles away before Clark can even blink. Clark wants to sit down and talk, but Bart races out the door, saying, "Smell ya later."
Clark follows Bart through the city, but he's unable to keep up when Bart runs across the river. So Clark heads home and tells his dad all about Bart. To Clark's surprise, Bart is waiting for him in his house, drinking orange juice. The two kids head out the barn, and Bart says he's amazed that Clark was able to keep up with him as long as he did. He's always wondered if there was someone else like him out there, and now he's finally found one. Clark asks Bart how he got his powers, and Bart says he was involved in a huge accident a couple of years ago with a bolt of lightning that caused his body to go into "overdrive." Clark asks if this happened in Smallville, Bart says no, but he doesn't say where he's from.
Bart asks Clark how he got his powers, and Clark simply says he was born this way. He then asks Bart why he's living on the streets and what happened to his parents. Bart gets a bit uncomfortable and vague at this point, essentially saying he didn't like the way his parents treated him after the accident and he didn't fit in anymore, so he ran away. Clark admits he ran away once, too, and Bart's shocked that he came back. He says the two of them should be out there, "tearing it up," but Clark frowns on Bart's life of thievery. Bart tries to justify his actions, saying he only steals from the rich. But he admits he took Jonathan's wallet to get a room because he was worried about his "friends" at Suicide Slum who short-changed him. Bart says living on the streets is dangerous, even for him, since he's a slow as everyone else when he's asleep.
After growing uncomfortable talking about himself, Bart quickly goes through Clark's things to turn the conversation on him. He sees Clark is studying Native American mythology, apparently has a crush on Lana, and has one of the most boring hobbies known to man — rock collecting. But the rock Bart finds is actually kryptonite, which instantly weakens Clark once Bart opens the lid of its lead box. Clark says he's allergic, so Bart puts the lid back on, seeming to be genuinely concerned by Clark's pain. But he quickly changes the topic again, saying the two of them should go out and have some fun, starting with a trip to Florida.
So Clark follows Bart to have some off-screen fun in Florida before returning to Clark's mom's coffeeshop in Smallville. Bart chides Clark for refusing a girl's number in Miami because Clark thinks its irresponsible to continually travel to Florida on a whim. Clark then chides Bart for stealing a cookie, and Bart retorts that he "doesn't do lines." Chloe then joins them, saying she thought Clark would still be in Metropolis playing detective. Clark says he'll leave this to the authorities, and Bart snaps back that he wouldn't have caught the thief anyway. Clark then introduces Chloe to Bart, who says that he's from the future and came back in time to tell Chloe that they're still in love a hundred years from now. Chloe laughs at this stupid flirting, and Bart ups his game by using his super speed to fetch Chloe's favorite flower, a tulip. Chloe asks how he did that, and Bart says it was a magic trick and offers to show her more.
Clark's mom calls him over to ask about their thief. Clark tells her about Bart and how it seems like he mostly just wants a friend right now. Martha hopes Clark will be able to talk some sense into him, but then she immediately tells Clark to ditch Bart with Chloe and head over to Lex Luthor's house. So Clark obediently visits his friend, Lex, who shows him a rare 14th-century manuscript he recently purchased from St. Petersburg. What interested Lex about the manuscript is the Kryptonian symbols on the border of the page. Apparently the page was found in Rasputin's monastery, and rumor had it that Rasputin would spend days at a time staring at the page, trying to unlock its mysteries. Clark scans it with his x-ray vision and sees its actually a map. Of course, Clark doesn't want to let Lex know he has powers, even though it's pretty obvious Lex does know, but he won't come out and say it. So every scene between these two includes a lot of awkward silences.
Lex abruptly sends Clark home, and he bumps right into Bart in the hallway. Bart says that Chloe shot him down, so he decided to check on Clark and is amazed that he knows Lex Luthor. Clark tells Bart he needs to leave, and when Lex comes out in the hall, Bart quickly runs away. Lex asks Clark who he was talking to, and Clark just awkwardly stares at Lex in silence for a few minutes. He then runs home to tell his dad about the map Lex found. Jonathan advises Clark to ignore the map, reminding him of the desire he expressed just a few hours ago to be a normal teenager. But Clark says Bart has reminded him that he's not normal and he can't keep running away from who he really is. Clark then tells his dad that he won't steal Lex's map, just sneak back into the mansion to get a better look at it and draw it on a piece of paper.
As Clark prepares for his act of trespassing, Bart catches up with him, itemizing Lex's wealth and concluding that there's no way anyone can be that rich by "playing it straight." He says he needs to step up his thieving game because he wants to live like Lex. Clark tries to excuse himself, and Bart offers to come along, but Clark insists its personal. He offers to hang with Bart as soon as he gets back, so Bart starts making plans for a midnight movie, which Clark agrees to, as long as Bart doesn't tell his dad. Bart then awkwardly thanks Clark for being his friend this afternoon and presents him a gift of an MP3 player. But Clark correctly suspects the gift was stolen, which brings up another debate about stealing. Bart insists that laws only apply to normal people and they shouldn't treat their powers like a curse. Clark says they should use their powers to help people, and Bart says he won't stay around for another lecture. Clark tells him that running away won't solve his problems, but Bart says he's running toward the life he wants. He angrily tells Clark that they're nothing alike and takes off.
So Clark proceeds with his plan to sneak into Lex's house and stare at the manuscript. But as he does so, Bart zips in, grabs the priceless page and leaves Clarks standing there stupidly as a security alarm goes off. Lex quickly enters the room with one armed guard and asks what happens. Clark says he was just coming by to say hello, and the alarm suddenly went off. It seems like Lex can tell Clark is lying, but he chooses to believe Clark, saying he knows a real friend would never lie to him. Lex also assures Clark that he's confident he'll get the manuscript back soon. Even though it's worth a fortune, it's so rare and so valuable, there really isn't anyone the thief can sell it to without being found out.
The next day, Bart visits Mr. Hanison again, offering him the manuscript, which rolls up real neatly for a 500-year-old document. A car suddenly approaches this almost-concealed alleyway, and as Bart's head is turned, Hanison's goon knocks him out with the butt of his gun. Lex steps out of the car, walks right past Hanison and examines the dangerous thief he had been told about. Upon seeing Bart's just a kid, Lex orders Hanison to let him go, but Hanison warns Lex that he has no idea what Bart is capable of. He then asks Lex for his "finder's fee," but Lex reveals he's called the police. So Hanison orders his goon to take care of Lex, but Lex actually beats the crap out of the big guy with a gun. However, Hanison sneaks up behind Lex and takes him down with one punch.
Bart finally wakes up by this point, and Hanison blames him for causing this mess. He pulls out a gun on the teen, saying it's time to find out if he's faster than a speeding bullet. Before he can pull the trigger, Clark rushes in, takes the gun away, and tosses Hanison up, through the roof. The criminal crashes down through the roof of an RV, sustaining injuries that surely should have killed him. Hanison's goon wakes up at this point, and Clark tells him he doesn't want to be here right now. So the guy obediently runs away. Clark then lectures Bart about his philosophy of victimless crimes, and heads to check on Lex.
But Bart suddenly pulls out the Kryptonite, and takes back the manuscript. Clark says the Kryptonite will kill him, telling Bart he's not a murderer. Bart shouts back, "You don't know who I am!" Clark says he's seen the good in Bart and tells him to stop running, or he'll end up alone. He says he knows this because deep inside, they're the same. Bart closes the lid on the Kryptonite, saying he wishes that was true, then takes off before Clark can recover.
Later, Clark tells his dad all about this, explaining that he stayed with Lex until the ambulance arrived, so he has no idea where Bart is now. Jonathan figures this is for the best, but Clark insists Bart isn't a bad kid. Jonathan argues that embracing your abilities and flaunting them are two completely different things. Clark admits he wishes he could act more like Bart sometimes, saying he spends so much time hiding his powers that he feels like he's two different people. Jonathan says that many normal people also feel the same way about their lives.
Clark then checks on Lex, who's been released from the hospital with only a slight bruise on his face. He shows Clark that someone returned the manuscript while he was in the hospital. This gives Clark another chance to look at the hidden map, but Lex quickly sends him away, saying he still has a bad headache. Lex also neglects to tell Clark that he has taken x-rays of the manuscript and has also discovered the map. So Clark heads home and begins drawing the map from memory. Bart shows up behind him, saying his drawing sucks. Clark asks Bart why he returned the manuscript, and Bart lamely says all that money would have slowed him down.
Bart then asks Clark how he found him in that not-at-all hidden alleyway, asking if Clark also has psychic powers. Clark explains that he spent all night in Suicide Slums trying to convince people he had a thousand of the MP3 players Bart gave him and was looking to fence them. Eventually, he was pointed in Hanison's direction. Bar is impressed with Clark channeling his inner criminal. Clark asks Bart what he's going to do now, and Bart says he'll continue exploring the world, searching for more people like them in hopes of starting a club or a league. He asks Clark to join him, but Clark asks Bart to stay. Bart says he has no reason to stay in Smallville. Clark meekly says, "You have me," but that apparently isn't good enough. Bart thanks Clark for being his friend, then says that if Clark can catch him, then he'll think about staying. The episode ends with the two of them racing down the street, but just like before, Clark can't keep up with Bart.
This show sucked. I am not a fan of sitcom television — especially on the CW. There's too much melodrama, very few sets that keep being recycled, cheap special effects, expository dialogue, grown adults trying to pass for teenagers, and a fair amount of padding to push the episode out to 44 minutes. But I'm not sure if this was a good or bad episode by Smallville's standards. This was the first episode I've watched from start to finish, and, as far as I can tell, this was the debut episode for both the director and the writer. All I know is I don't like this show.
Bart really was a mixed bag for me. On one hand, I really liked Kyle Gallner. Unlike Tom Welling, Gallner actually looked like a high school student. And he seemed to have the necessary level of energy to play Bart. The problem, though, is in how Bart was written. Instead of the perpetually optimistic and happy Impulse of the comics, this Bart was perpetually angry and cynical. And when you fundamentally change a character's attitude and backstory — making him a pickpocket street urchin for some reason — you end up with a character that's barely recognizable. And it makes you wonder why they even bothered using that character's name. This version of Bart just as easily could have been Jay, Barry or Wally, and nothing would have changed. He is an original character created for this show.
I'm also trying to figure out what the point of this episode even was. I suppose that Kryptonian map will come into play later on, but we didn't need Bart Allen to bring that plot device to the show. Really, all he did was hang out with Clark for a couple of days, then left. He didn't seem to profoundly affect Clark in any way, nor did Clark really change Bart's attitude in any way. He ends the episode just as he begins it — as a restless pickpocket with a heart of gold and a desire to find others like him. And ultimately, the only reason he does take off in the end is because his actor was only hired for one episode. Because, really, Bart, who's in desperate need of a friend and is too frightened to keep living on the streets, would want to stay at the Kent farm. He could use it a sort of base while continuing to search for superpowered individuals. That would have been a very different direction for the show, watching Clark and Bart slowly build up a Justice League or Teen Titans. And maybe it would have been better. Or not. The current slate of DC shows on the CW certainly aren't wanting for any superheroes, but I still don't think they're any better than this episode of Smallville was.
So if I can come away with one positive from this episode is that it clearly showed that Bart was faster than Clark. I always hate it when Superman is as fast or faster than the Flash. Even the recent Justice League movie did that. But this dumb Smallville episode, with its cheesy special effects and all, managed to nail that crucial detail. And I will say I am honestly intrigued to see the return of Bart Allen on this show.
Next time, we'll wrap up the year 2004 with Teen Titans #17.
