The Flash – “Impulsive Excessive Disorder”

Director: David McWhirter

Writer: Thomas Pound

Well, I wasn’t sure it was going to happen — I was actively hoping it wouldn’t happen — but it did. Jordan Fisher has returned as Impulse to the CW’s Flash. Will this one-off episode be an improvement over that disastrous two-parter that closed out Season Seven? Let’s find out.

Our story picks right up where we left off with Bart and his sister, Nora, attending their parents’ vow renewal ceremony. After Barry’s time-bending kiss and all the guests go home, Bart and Nora have one final quiet moment with their parents. Bart says even though he heard about this vow renewal a million times from Barry and Iris in the future, he still got a little weepy to see it in person. Iris warmly reflects on the future that’s ahead of them, but Bart admits he’s worried they’ve now changed the future. Barry claims to have already checked that, via his futuristic computer, Gideon, and he says there are no changes to the timeline. So the kids give their parents one last hug and race off for Central City in the year 2049. 

Bart and Nora quickly zoom around their house, satisfied that everything seems to be just as they left it. Bart reflects on a bust of Jay Garrick’s helmet, saying that seeing Jay alive in the past makes him miss his mentor even more now. Suddenly a blast of green energy sweeps over our heroes and Jay’s bust disappears. Before Bart and Nora can figure out what happened, Jay himself walks through the front door, carrying several bags of Big Belly burgers. Bart immediately breaks down in tears and gives a perplexed Jay a massive hug. Nora makes it a group hug, telling Jay they’ve missed him so much.

As Jay sets up the food on the table, Bart and Nora have a quick aside. Bart thinks it’s “crash” that Jay is now alive, but Nora insists this is the opposite of crash. She now realizes that green energy was a temporal wave, meaning their trip back in time did, in fact, change the future. Nora does agree that it seems like they’ve changed the future for the better, but she wants to figure out why this happened.

Bart and Nora join Jay at the table, casually asking where their parents are. Jay reminds them that Barry and Iris are in Milan, celebrating the anniversary of their wedding vow renewal. Jay can tell Bart and Nora are acting odd, but Nora assures him they’re perfectly fine. Jay then randomly chooses to thank Bart once again for saving his life from Godspeed several months ago, adding that he knows Bart will make a great Flash one day. Jay then receives a message from his wife, Rose, saying she won’t be able to join them for dinner. Bart and Nora are unable to fully conceal their confusion/panic to learn that Jay isn’t married to Joan.

After dinner, the siblings visit the Flash Museum, and Nora begins to realize that the cosmic treadmill wasn’t built to handle the power of three speedsters at once. Which means that when they chased after Godspeed, their tachyon energies must have caused massive temporal fissures. Nora bemoans breaking their dad’s time travel rules as she searches through a database to discover that not only did Jay never marry Joan, but Joan doesn’t even exist in this reality. She then keeps her brother from panicking too much as she dives deeper into the archives to find the first change to the timeline. Nora skips past references to a corrupt mayor and the Trickster invading Tibet, but she’s confused by a reference to Booster Gold. Instead of looking further into it, though, they keep going, reading about Zoom attacking the Central City Police Department, which references Joe West being the chief of police.

Bart realizes that their grandpa was never chief of police, so they start looking for the moment he was promoted. Nora finds a story about Joe being shot while stopping a jewelry heist in 2013. And she somehow confirms there were no time fissures before this point. So they decide that if they go back to this point in time and prevent Joe from being shot, then all the changes to the timeline will be undone.

So our heroes travel to Central City on December 31, 2013, which technically was before this show even began. Barry Allen was still in a coma after being stuck by lightning and Iris West was thinking about dating her dad’s partner, Eddie Thawne. Bart throws on an outfit (as seen above) that Iris believes belongs in 1913, not 2013, but Bart claims its sexy and incognito. For some reason, Bart and Nora went straight into the police department, where they surreptitiously watch their grandfather try and fail to ask Cecile out on a date. While they’re busy arguing about staying out of sight during this time-travel mission, they’re approached by Detective Thawne, who demands to know who they are.

Luckily, Nora came prepared, handing Eddie ID cards for intern CSIs Nora Moy (named after XS co-creator Jeffrey Moy) and Bart Waid (named after Mark Waid, co-creator of Impulse and XS). Bart tries to lighten the mood by calling themselves crime fighters — with science — and Eddie seems to appreciate this, noting how tense the department has been since the S.T.A.R. Labs explosion (which gave Barry his powers and created a bunch of meta-humans in the area). Eddie even admits that his new partner, Joe, barely speaks to him. So Bart suggests they try bonding over a cup of coffee. Eddie likes this idea so much, he gives Bart his credit card and tells him to pick up coffee for the entire bullpen. Bart hesitates, but Nora accepts the assignment to maintain appearances.

As soon as Eddie walks away, Bart realizes they were just talking to their mom’s former fiancé and the man who sacrificed himself to stop Eobard Thawne. But Nora says that doesn’t matter right now, and she leads him to a small coffee stand on the street, which seems like a terrible place to go for a large order like theirs. There’s a long line at the stand, and Bart begs to use his super speed to grab the coffee, but Nora forbids it, fearing it could change the timeline more. Nora explains that her computer gauntlet will let her know when the jewel robbery will happen and until then, they just need to lie low. Bart’s not convinced though, worrying that every second they spend waiting in line is a second where their grandpa could be getting shot.

Bart becomes so agitated, he knocks into a pretty girl waiting in line behind him. Bart is instantly smitten by this girl named Avery, who just happens to be holding lots of papers on quantum mechanics. He asks how she knows so much about this advanced science and she jokes that it’s because she’s from the future. Not realizing she’s joking, Bart admits he’s from the future and strikes up a conversation about time travel. Avery is an intern at Fast Track Labs, conveniently studying the precise kind of paradox that Bart and Nora are dealing with. Bart calls her the Elon Musk of her generation (which I’m sure he meant as a compliment, even though Musk is not a genius at all), and further confuses the girl by saying it was crash to meet her. Luckily, Nora’s gauntlet interrupts this awkwardness, and she rushes Bart off to go save Grandpa Joe.

Turns out the jewel robber is quite a nervous idiot and his gun accidentally discharged when he dropped it. Bart and Nora arrive at the scene as soon as the bullet leaves the barrel, and Nora initially holds Bart back. At super speed, she explains that if their grandpa was never supposed to be responding to this robbery, then the gun was never supposed to fire at all. And now she’s worried about interfering, as it might cause another temporal flux. Nora claims she tried to tell this to Bart earlier, but he was too busy flirting with Avery. When Bart asks what they should do instead, Nora begins stammering, so he decides to save the day himself. Bart oddly chooses to move Joe instead of moving the bullet, and even takes time to give his grandpa a kiss on the cheek.

Joe easily arrests the crook and Eddie marvels that he must have a guardian angel. Nora tells Bart he made the wrong move, as her gauntlet somehow shows that more temporal particles are in flux. Bart then randomly says that he’s surprised the gunman wasn’t a meta-human, to which Nora bizarrely states that the recent S.T.A.R. Labs explosion created more meta-humans. Of course, the only reason they stated these unrelated facts is so that they could be overheard by a mysterious woman with telepathy, who now realizes she’s not alone.

Returning the conversation to the actual mission, Bart suggests they go back in time and move the bullet instead of Joe to see if that fixes the temporal fluxes. But Nora doesn’t like the idea of using more time travel to fix their time travel problems. Instead, she suggests they review the security footage of the shooting to see what went wrong. They see Eddie has the flash drive and offer to take it back to headquarters for him, but he tells them to go on their coffee run, which they aborted.

So they do go on the coffee run, which gives them enough time to prepare a fake flash drive. And luckily, Eddie helps them out even more by distracting Joe with talk about his former partner dying, Barry being in a coma, and Joe’s failed attempt to woo Cecile. Nora can’t help but tell Joe what Cecile’s favorite flowers are, as she delivers his coffee and swaps out the flash drive. Nora and Bart retreat to an empty room in the building, which just happens to be the still-damaged room where Barry was struck by lightning. Bart takes a moment to relish this history, while Nora fires up a computer.

Once they review the video, Bart instantly recognizes the mysterious woman who was eavesdropping on them. She’s Mona Taylor, aka the Queen of the Royal Flush Gang. Nora uses her gauntlet to pull up tomorrow’s newspaper, which says the Royal Flush Gang killed 30 people in a casino on New Year’s Eve. Bart remembers that in their original timeline the Royal Flush Gang didn’t form until long after Barry became the Flash. Nora quickly realizes that their random conversation about meta-humans gave Mona the idea of a gang several years early, and now 30 people are going to die. 

Bart says they need to stop that casino disaster, and Nora agrees, but also worries about causing more problems to the timeline. Bart laments that their dad would have gotten it right on the first try, and he suddenly breaks down in tears, wailing that everything he’s done today has only made everything worse. With an insane amount of tears pouring down his cheeks, Bart says he’ll never be good enough to be the Flash and runs away.

Nora finds Bart visiting their unconscious father. Bart’s been telling his dad that he’s going to have a complete failure for a son. Nora tells him that nobody’s perfect and she quotes Barry: “No matter how fast you run, life is about the journey.” She assures Bart they’ll fix everything, but just need to take some time to think things through. This calms Bart down and he realizes he’s made a new friend who’s conveniently an expert in time travel and might be able to help them.

Bart and Nora luckily find Avery all alone at Fast Track Labs — even though it’s New Year’s Eve. Avery is naturally concerned with how these two bypassed the lab’s security and armed guards, and she even believes that their meeting at the coffee stand was no accident, since Bart and Nora must have been tracking her to steal her company’s secrets. Bart confesses they actually are from the future, and Nora decides to prove it by pulling up a factoid about Avery’s future on her gauntlet. Bart points out that Avery would have to wait to see if that future came true, thus making that a stupid plan. Luckily, Avery is intrigued enough by the gauntlet itself and, upon a quick inspection, decides the device is futuristic and Bart and Nora are telling the truth.

Nora pulls up the next day’s newspaper to show Avery the casino bombing they’re worried about. But to their surprise, the death toll begins to fluctuate, jumping up to 42 and falling back down to 36. Avery hypothesizes that this means the casino heist has become a fixed point in time, but the deaths are not. Which, theoretically, means that Bart and Nora can still fix the timeline and save the people, just as long as they allow the heist to happen. Avery then asks to go with the heroes to help save the day, but Bart refuses to put her in danger. He does, however, promise to come back to her.

Impulse and XS then put on their superhero outfits for the first time this episode and sneak into the casino after the Royal Flush Gang has already begun their heist. The gang oddly only has four members — in addition to the telepath (Queen), there’s a strong man (King), a guy with laser eyes (Jack) and a girl that can … do backflips? Anyway, XS goes to look for the bomb, leaving Impulse to rescue the civilians, while allowing the heist to still happen.

King and Queen are keeping an eye on all the people in the lobby, while the other two collect the loot. Impulse starts to sneak a few people away two at a time, but it doesn’t take long before King and Queen notice their hostages disappearing. Queen can sense the presence of a mysterious savior, so she picks a random woman and announces that King will smash her head in unless the hero reveals themself. Nora calls Bart up over their comm-link thing and says she can’t find the bomb. Bart tells her to keep looking, while he’s going to enact Plan B to prevent Queen from killing anyone. Only problem is there isn’t a Plan B.

What Bart comes up with, though, is actually pretty smart. He steals a casino manager’s uniform and presents himself as the one who was helping people escape. He tries to make a deal with Queen, saying he’ll let the gang take all the money they want, as long as they don’t kill anyone — since dead people aren’t great for business. Queen, however, is suspicious, saying a casino manager wouldn’t risk his neck on minimum wage. I don’t know why she thinks a casino manager would only earn minimum wage, but that’s not the point. The point is, she believes Bart to be an undercover cop and begins to probe his mind.

Queen quickly picks up on Bart’s concerns about saving the future, but Bart recovers nicely by thinking about Avery being his future. The other two gang members return with big bags full of cash, proudly telling their Queen they’ve collected $10 million. The Royal Flush Gang begins to leave, but for some reason, Bart protests this, earning him a nasty punch from King. Queen tells the hostages to enjoy all the fireworks as she leads her goons out the door.

Bart tells Nora the gang is gone, just as she finally finds the bomb, but immediately realizes it’s too small to level the building like the newspaper article said. Nora begins to panic, as the bombs are set to blow in 30 seconds. Bart says that King broke his arm and he needs at least three minutes to speed-heal it. But he does offer Nora some kind words of encouragement, ending with the cheesy line “get excessive!” Nora instantly finds five bombs in total and runs them to the top of a nearby building, hurtling them into the air just as the New Year’s fireworks go off.

For absolutely no reason at all, Bart and Nora return to the police department in their intern disguises. Bart doublechecks that they’ve fixed all the problems they caused, then he recklessly drags Nora into a group photograph with the rest of the CCPD. Bart then visits Avery, who is still, astonishingly, at her lab. She tells Bart that he hasn’t just changed her research, but he’s also changed her life. Bart thanks her for helping save the day, then begins to awkwardly stammer until Avery pulls him in for a kiss. Nora eventually interrupts the ridiculously long kiss by walking in the room with her eyes covered. So Bart finally leaves, promising Avery he’ll see her again.

Back in 2049, Bart and Nora take Jay to the Flash Museum to finally come clean on everything and explain the whole story, including how he originally was killed by Godspeed. Bart apologizes for changing the timeline, saying he understands if this means he can never be the Flash. Jay laughs at this, saying that not only has Barry screwed up the timeline, but he himself once journeyed back to World War II and fought Nazis. He thanks Bart for saving his and Joan’s life, then says that sometimes they’ll make mistakes that can’t be undone, but they can always try to make things better. Jay then leaves, joking that he has a meeting with President Luthor.

Well, I will say that this episode was better than the last time we saw Bart on The Flash. But it’s still pretty lame. And that’s a shame because this episode did actually have great potential. Focusing on Bart and Nora’s journey home is a good idea. Giving them a mission to fix the timeline is also good. But we need a strong hook. Finding out that Jay is married to Rose instead of Joan is not it. Yeah, it’s sad that Joan was erased from history, but do we really care about her? I mean, she didn’t even show up in this episode, which is odd, considering how she was ostensibly the main reason for this entire adventure. So why did Bart and Nora risk the entire space-time continuum just for her? I mean, maybe this Rose lady is perfectly lovely and deserves to be Jay’s wife.

But seriously, imagine how much more impactful it would have been had Bart and Nora been on a mission to save their dad. They ask Jay if their parents are dropping by and his face falls. “What are you talking about?” he asks. “Barry’s dead.” THAT would have given this show the emotional drama it craves so badly, and often forces in unnatural, unearned ways — like this episode demonstrated so painfully.

This story also failed to be a captivating time-travel story. Avery called Bart “McFly,” referencing one of the greatest time-travel stories of all time, Back to the Future. That movie was built around an effective cause-and-effect conflict. Marty inadvertently prevented his parents from falling in love, thus jeopardizing his own existence. But in this episode, all the events were completely random and unassociated. Racing Godspeed back in time somehow caused Joe to suffer a non-fatal gunshot in the past, which somehow erased Joan from existence? What? Oh, and then we’re going to hastily add on a poor excuse for a Royal Flush Gang because we needed some sense of action at the end. No sense of drama, tension or emotional connection. Wouldn’t it have been cool if Bart and Nora had to make sure Barry got hit by the lightning bolt? And — to borrow an idea from the comics — maybe one or both of them would have to (temporarily) sacrifice themselves to become that fateful bolt of lightning?

But such ideas were too big for this episode. Director David McWhirter clearly had a minuscule budget for this one — there were hardly any special effects. Heck, we were even limited to about 90 seconds of screen time for the Impulse suit! However, that was actually a good thing, since that suit still looks horrendous. It’s such a shame that this show has become so amateurish. And having an episode remind us of Season One — when it was not amateurish — only emphasizes the show’s decline.

I also feel like Jordan Fisher is being underutilized here. He’s a singer and a dancer. Make that part of Bart’s character. Yeah, he sang that cheesy ballad at his parents’ vow renewal, but I’d like to see him constantly singing, dancing, rapping, scatting, humming, drumming — you know, acting like someone full of unlimited energy and enthusiasm. Instead, this script gave us an Impulse that I think can best be described as bipolar. Fisher does not do a good job of randomly bursting into uncontrollable tears over the slightest difficulties, but I don’t think anyone else could do a better job with these awful scripts.

And what was up with Avery? She added absolutely nothing to this plot. Yes, I know Avery Ho was the Flash from China in the comics, but this episode didn’t confirm that’s who this Avery is. Theoretically, she was supposed to be a time-travel expert to help solve Bart and Nora’s dilemma, but she really didn’t tell them anything they couldn’t have figured out on their own. And if this episode really needed an expert, then why didn’t they use Booster Gold? They made a big point of showing his picture early on, only to never mention him again.

The cynic in me says that Avery was only brought in to show conclusively that Bart is straight. His silver fingernails and earrings might have led some people to think otherwise, so this episode quickly and aggressively asserted Bart’s heterosexuality with the first pretty face he saw. Pretty lame if you ask me. Granted, it might be mildly interesting if this show does reunite them somehow. Maybe Avery figures out time travel and comes to the future, or Bart returns to the past one day. There’s potential there … but I don’t have any confidence in this show anymore. I kind of think someone needs to put it out of its misery.

Next time, we’ll return to the animated universe with an episode of Young Justice: Phantoms!

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures #29

Hangout

Inks Starbrite

Writing CRC Payne

Storyboards Maria Li

Backgrounds Lan Ma

Flats & Rendering C.M. Cameron

Lettering Kielamel Sibal

Production Susan Cheng and Wil Kennedy

Based on characters by DC Comics

Batman created by Bob Kane with Bill Finger

I’m back! Just when I had almost given up hope that I’d never have another Bart Allen story to review, he finally had an actual appearance on Young Justice: Phantoms. This prompted me to doublecheck that I hadn’t missed anything else from this year, and it turns out I did miss an entire episode of The Flash CW show — oops! — and this weird little web comic thing.

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures is an odd beast. For starters, it’s completely free. You can read this comic right here. It also doesn’t seem to be beholden to any particular continuity — just using whichever characters whenever it wants. The stories are humorous in nature — at least they try to be — and they seem to have been mass produced at a very quick pace. There are minimal backgrounds and no real layouts, as the comic presents every panel one at a time, stacked right on top of each other, forcing you to scroll down and down and down to read it. The whole production feels like nothing more than a fanfic, but it is apparently officially sanctioned by DC, so I decided to review it.

Our story opens with Tim Drake having hamburgers and fries in Gotham City with Conner Kent, Cassie Sandsmark and Bart Allen (labeled as Impulse: The Flash’s grandson from the future). Since they don’t have any villains to battle and none of them are ready to go home yet, Bart suggests they go to a movie. Unfortunately, Tim explains, the Riddler had recently taken over a bunch of movie theaters, so they’re all still closed. Conner says they should go to Wayne Manor, but Bruce is holding a dinner party that Tim was hoping to avoid. Conner confidently states that three of them have super speed and could zip in and out without anyone noticing. Bart begs Tim with the biggest puppy-dog eyes he can muster, and Tim finally relents. Sort of.

Tim brings his friends into the Batcave, bragging about how they own every movie. All Conner and Bart care about is the snacks, though. Tim tries to explain they’re not allowed to eat around the Batcomputer, but Bart doesn’t listen and ransacks Alfred’s pantry before anyone can stop him. So they all settle down, hoping that Batman doesn’t notice them.

But before they can even start the movie, Bruce angrily storms down into the cave. Demonstrating a complete lack of loyalty, Conner, Cassie and Bart all run away as fast as they can, leaving Tim to clean up the snacks and grumble that he should have met his friends in Smallville, since the Kents are nicer.

So … that was … kind of fun? I like having a quiet slice-of-life story, especially since most shows and comics these days never seem to make time for stuff like this. And I always do appreciate bringing back the old Big Four of the original Young Justice. It was interesting that our heroes seemed a bit older than usual — I’d probably put them between 17 and 20. I do, however, hate that Bart was drawn to look exactly like Wally West. So many artists make this mistake. Bart has yellow eyes and brown hair (the more of it the better)! He’s not even related to Wally by blood, so please, stop giving him red hair and freckles! Personality-wise, he was just fine. There really wasn’t much to the story. It wasn’t particularly funny, but it was a cute reminder that these characters do exist and some people still like them.

Next time, we’ll return to The Flash TV show to find out if it’s somehow managed to sink any lower, or if it has miraculously recovered somewhat.

Year in Review: 2021

Here we go again. Another year in the books, and sadly, not a whole lot of Impulse to talk about. But first, a quick review of the year that just barely ended. I don’t need to remind you that the pandemic continued to mess with release schedules and box office numbers. But despite all that, it was still a pretty busy year for superhero movies. Marvel released Black Widow, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Venom: Let There Be Carnage, Eternals and Spider-Man: No Way Home, which dominated the box office with over a billion dollars at the end of the year. DC wasn’t quite as prolific (as usual), with only one film being released in theaters, The Suicide Squad. Zack Snyder’s Justice League did come out on HBO Max, but that doesn’t really count as an original film. At least in my book.

The enhanced streaming options really made this two-year pandemic bearable. And once again, Marvel led the way in this new front, with the Disney+ shows WandaVision, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Loki, Hawkeye and What If…? DC really couldn’t compete with that. Sure, they had their usual slate of bland CW shows (Superman & Lois being the exception) and Young Justice: Phantoms premiered on HBO Max, but there wasn’t a whole lot to get excited about. And for Impulse fans like me, there was even less.

I had predicted that Bart Allen would disappear and be forgotten after Brian Michael Bendis’ Young Justice was cancelled and Joshua Williamson left The Flash. Unfortunately, I was right. I can count on one hand the number of significant appearances Bart made in comics and television in 2021. Impulse was quickly killed in the opening pages of a Future State comic, made a cameo in Jeremy Adams’ Flash run, and then finally made an appearance on the CW’s Flash show. But that was it. Still photographs/memories of Bart did show up here and there — Teen Titans Academy, Suicide Squad, Young Justice: Phantoms — but each of those “appearances” were so small and worthless, I didn’t see the point in reviewing them. What would I say about them? “I’m glad that Conner/Gar remember Bart?”

So anyway, I’m saying all this to say that this is an especially difficult year for handing out awards. There were few options to choose from and, frankly, none of them were that good. But the show will go on! Because I have hope that one day, DC will start producing fun stories about Impulse once again and I’ll be able to fondly look back on this record of the dry spells.

Best Story: The Flash #769

I really didn’t like this comic that much. I’ll be honest with you. It featured Impulse in name only and forever banished him to the unreachable future for no rhyme or reason. But … it was the best choice of the year. Future State killed Bart before he could do anything. And the CW show was laughingly, embarrassingly, even insultingly bad. The Flash #769 was none of those things. It was actually a fairly interesting Wally West story. I just wish Impulse had something to do in it.

Best Writer: Jeremy Adams

Adams gets this award by pure default. Yeah, he really annoyed me with what he did to Impulse, but it wasn’t nearly as unforgivable as what the CW writers did to him. Or Brandon Vietti’s choice to kill him in a super quick, super lame way. Besides, Adams does deserve some credit for bringing a fresh approach to the mess of Wally West.

Best Artist: Dale Eaglesham

Eaglesham didn’t do anything particularly noteworthy on Future State, but he was a competent, solid artist that got the job done. The team of artists on Adams’ Flash stories churned out computery, rubbery art that really annoyed me.

Best Supporting Character: Jay Garrick

I would have liked to give this award to Wally or even Gold Beetle, but we really didn’t see Bart do anything with them. And since Bart’s story in Future State was so brief, I’m left with the CW show. That Bart was interesting in that he had a mother, father and older sister — unlike any other version of Bart we’ve ever seen, who’s almost always been somewhat of an orphan. But despite that large, loving family around him, this Bart was most closely connected to Jay Garrick — to the point where he recklessly risked his life to try to protect his old mentor. And so the original Flash picks up his third Supporting Character award on this blog.

Best Villain: The Calculator

I almost gave this award to Godspeed, the ridiculous and confusing villain of the CW. After all, he did kill Jay Garrick (off screen, in the future) and he did arbitrarily declare Impulse as his mortal enemy. But he never really did anything to Bart, and, worse of all, Bart didn’t even get to participate in the final battle that ended in Godspeed’s defeat. The Calculator, though, gets to go down in history as one of the very few villains who managed to kill Bart Allen. And that’s just enough to earn this award. At least for this year.

What does 2022 hold? Who knows. My wife is expecting our second son in April, so that’ll be quite the adventure. Young Justice: Phantoms might return from its hiatus by then and maybe, if we’re lucky, they’ll actually give Kid Flash something to do. The CW’s Flash is still chugging along, but so far (thankfully), they haven’t brought Impulse back. And as for the comics? Sadly it seems like it’ll take a miracle to bring Impulse back. But I’ll keep watching and waiting. I hope you will, too.

The Flash – “Heart of the Matter, Part 2”

Director: Marcus Stokes

Writers: Eric Wallace and Kelly Wheeler

So here we are, the epic finale of the seventh season of The Flash. Our screenshot skips ahead to the happy ending, with Cisco oddly officiating at a vow renewal ceremony for Barry and Iris, while Nora and Bart watch on awkwardly from the side. But let's save that for the end.

Our episode begins with Bart still in a coma after his fight with the Godspeed clones. Nora and Caitlin cry about him for a bit, while giving us a quick recap of the previous episode. Meanwhile, Barry has journeyed into August Heart's mind to speak with the real Godspeed. He tells the Flash that he hates Impulse because he appears to take his natural speed for granted, whereas Godspeed had to work hard to develop a serum that grants him super speed. Godspeed then promises to reabsorb all his clones if Barry gives him "organic speed," but Barry says that's not only a terrible idea, but also impossible.

Barry regroups with the others, and Nora surprisingly votes to give Godspeed what he wants. Barry and Iris are steadfastly against this, but Jay says if they don't give August organic speed, then they need a big idea. Barry tries to respond cleverly by saying they actually need a fast idea. And after a couple of pointless cutaways, we find out that Barry was referring to the Speed Force itself, which can manifest itself in the form of a woman, because of course it can. The Speed Force says she's going to give them all a boost of power to combat Godspeed, and this boost even includes Iris because she once had super speed back in season whatever. Nora calls this "schway," which is was the futuristic slang word coined by Batman Beyond.

The Speed Force had to work a little harder to wake up Bart, calling him her "impulsive boy." Bart quickly rejoins the others and thanks his "Speed Force Nana" before realizing that Caitlin oddly decided to retouch the silver paint on his fingernails while he was unconscious. Bart's also stunned to see "Uncle Jay" is with them, and Jay finds it odd to be called an uncle, but he graciously welcomes the title. Barry says it's time to end this war, and we dramatically cut to commercial.

All our speedsters then run out into a horde of Godspeed clones, who repeatedly say they must kill "The Adversary" (Bart) and his allies. Impulse opens the fighting with the nonsensical technique that Nora mentioned last episode, of creating lightning throwing stars and launching them like shurikens at four clones. And for whatever reason, these lightning stars instantly knock down their targets. Nora also knocks down four clones with her lightning whip that we saw last time. The Speed Force snaps her fingers and knocks down five clones, causing me to wonder why she can't just take them all out at once. Jay very stupidly knocks down five by throwing his hat at them. Barry and Iris stand back-to-back, while he throws lightning and she creates mini whirlwinds.

Suddenly, all the clones quickly stand up again and the Speed Force realizes that the clones are feeding off her. So she quickly leaves, while the clones surround our heroes. Allegra somehow teleports right into the middle of the fight with Chester's machine, which works correctly this time and knocks all the clones down. So everybody heads back to the lab, where they learn that there are even more Godspeed clones still causing havoc in the city. Nora laments that they threw everything they had at them, which causes me to raise an eyebrow, since that brief fight didn't quite feel like everything.

Our heroes watch the fight between some clones and Frost and Mecha-Vibe (guess he can't just be Vibe anymore), while Chester explains that his machine only affected people with artificial speed. Unfortunately, the device is broken now and it'll take him several weeks to build a new one. Nora repeats her request to give Godspeed what he wants, but Barry and Iris say that as parents, they can't put their kids in danger like that. But Bart says Central City doesn't need parents right now — it needs heroes.

Bart, Nora and Jay then rebuild Chester's machine, but for whatever reason, he said they still need a couple of days before it's up and running. Barry then dramatically enters the room, saying he and Iris have changed their minds and now want to give August organic speed. Bart starts to laugh before realizing it wasn't a joke. Barry credits his kids for changing his mind, saying they've shown him their future starts now.

So they set up August with a weird harness thing and explain that Barry is going to try to channel Speed Force energy into him. Bart realizes they are now creating the future by doing this and everything from this point will be different. Barry pushes some energy into August, who maniacally says he now realizes he likes being the bad guy as he somehow flies away. Barry tells his kids to stay here, saying he and Iris have a plan. Godspeed "flies" up to the roof of S.T.A.R. Labs and pulls all his clones back into himself, just as Barry arrives for one last showdown.

Barry gets off to a bad start in the fight, quickly rolling on the ground like Luke Skywalker being electrocuted by the Emperor, or rather, Godspeed. Bart starts to head out, saying he won't let Godspeed kill anyone he cares about, but Jay stops him, saying they need to trust Barry's plan. And he even repeats that stupid line about it being time to take his hat off.

Suddenly, Eobard Thawne shows up, courtesy of the Speed Force. For whatever reason, Thawne agrees to help take down Godspeed, who then prepares for this new battle by calling down a bolt of lightning, which he then wields like a sword. Barry and Thawne match this by producing their own lightning swords, igniting them as if they were lightsabers. What follows is the most ridiculous fight scene I have ever seen, mercifully ending with Thawne delivering a near-fatal blow to Godspeed. Thawne then tries to attack Barry, but realizes that Barry is now faster than him. So he runs away, vowing to come back and kill him later.

Everybody head back to the lab, where Bart and Nora are now suddenly wearing civilian clothes (did somebody buy them some clothes or what?). Iris explains that she helped the Speed Force tap into the Negative side to free Eobard Thawne, who had apparently been trapped there since season whatever. Bart (who is also now wearing earrings) asks why Barry chose Thawne instead of his children. Barry says that Godspeed was dangerous because he has no limits. Thawne also has no limits, except one: He'll never let anyone else kill Barry. So Barry felt he'd be the perfect ally for this fight, just as long as he was prepared for Thawne to turn on him at the end. And now, even though Thawne is free, Barry isn't worried about him for now. Barry also explains that August is now in Iron Heights and the Speed Force erased part of his memory, so he doesn't know the Flash's secret identity anymore.

Barry then offers to treat everyone to dinner and unnecessarily asks Iris to renew her vows with him. I guess he felt like she didn't get the wedding she deserved or something like that. We then skip ahead to that vow renewal ceremony, which takes place on "the following Tuesday." I don't know how long that was from Godspeed's defeat, but Bart and Nora apparently spent all that time just hanging out in the past with their parents. I guess. 

The ceremony lazily takes place at the West family home (saves on building a new set). Jay and Joan consider renewing their vows, and Joe West and Cecile start to consider getting married themselves. Thanks to a last-minute web search, Cisco claims authority to officiate the ceremony while wearing a S.T.A.R. Labs stole. Cisco begins the proceedings by handing the microphone to Bart, who then proceeds to sing an original song called "1949." Barry calls the song "crash," but Bart says it's too weird to hear his dad use that word. Cisco then calls this ceremony the greatest sequel since The Empire Strikes Back, and Barry and Iris exchange incredibly cheesy and sappy vows. The husband and wife then kiss, with Barry using his speed to romantically slow down time around them.

I almost fell off the couch laughing at this episode. And I was laughing for all the wrong reasons. I had no idea this show was capable of descending to such ludicrous levels. We're talking about off-the-wall sheer insanity that is only the result of the supreme, inexcusable laziness of everyone involved from the actors to the writers to the wardrobe department. I'm 90% sure that Bart's civilian clothes were just what Jordan Fisher happened to be wearing that day, since those are the same earrings he typically wears in real life.

I am glad that Fisher wasn't asked to do too much again. He was a lot more comfortable in this episode, especially once he got out of that ridiculous costume. I am curious about the story behind Bart's song. Did Jordan Fisher demand the opportunity to perform an original song, or did the show runners specifically seek him out (or another singer) because they had this idea? In either case, it really doesn't feel like Bart's character to sing a slow-paced ballad — even for his parents. This whole episode was yet another example of people telling us how impulsive Bart is, while we never get to see him do anything impulsive.

Nobody really wanted to be here. And who could blame them? "OK, Candice (Iris), in this scene, you're acting as the anchor for the Speed Force. So just stand there and kind of close your eyes a bit. Good enough!" Jesse L. Martin (Joe) and John Wesley Shipp (Jay) looked like they were in physical pain just being on set. Carlos Valdes (Cisco) could barely muster the energy to get through his lackluster jokes.

But as usual, the greatest sins were committed by the script. Defeating Godspeed was what this whole season had been building up to. And after a fight scene that I cannot overstate how ridiculous was, we quickly jumped to Grant Gustin revealing August Heart's fate in just a couple of lines of dialogue. No. We needed to see Godspeed be incarcerated. We needed to know if he still has his speed or not. And why is everyone so nonchalant about erasing August's memory? Didn't they see the anguish his amnesia had been causing him?

Last episode seemed to be setting a special Impulse/XS combined attack. But that never came up here. Both episodes spent an inordinate amount of time on Chester's stupid machine, which ultimately accomplished nothing, other than pad out the show. A show that bizarrely thought a three-way lightsaber duel would be the best way to wrap up the season. A lightsaber duel completely without Bart's involvement. Remember how Godspeed was supposed to be his arch enemy? Yeah, this show forgot about that, too. They quickly threw away one line of dialogue about Godspeed loathing Bart's impulsive nature, but that was it! Bart Allen really had no business being involved in this story. And his status for the next season is uncertain. Are Bart and Nora still trapped in 2021 or can they finally return to the future? Nobody said either way, because nobody cares.

Honestly, I hope Bart doesn't return. Unless this show gets a major overhaul, it will only be a disservice to the legacy of this character. And it's a terrible shame, since there is so much storytelling potential with Impulse. Like I said last time, this show should have played up the Allen-Thawne romantic dynamic of Bart's parents. And if they wanted to play around with unique, bizarre super-speed powers, they should have brought back Bart's scouts. Wouldn't that have been a better ending than randomly bringing in Eobard Thawne? Jay tells Bart to stay in the lab, and Bart says, "OK. I'll stay, but he won't." And he creates a golden energy scout right there that races off to give Barry the edge he needs to win. A simple solution that would have helped this episode a whole lot. Not enough to redeem it, granted, but it would have been better than what we got. Heck, anything would have been better than that hallucinatory light show that tried to call itself a fight.

Next time? I honestly don't know. I pray this isn't goodbye — I'd hate to end this blog on such a sour note. But currently, there are no plans for Impulse to appear in any comics in the foreseeable future. Hopefully Kid Flash will show up in the Young Justice animated show, which should debut its fourth season in October. In the meantime, I guess we'll just have to watch and wait.

The Flash – “Heart of the Matter, Part 1”

Director: Eric Dean Seaton 

Writers: Eric Wallace and Lauren Barnett

Well, here we are. Jordan Fisher is Impulse in all his silvery glory. Next to him is his older sister, Nora, aka XS. And in front of them is their mother, Iris, who technically was stuck in the Still Force or something like that, but was able to come back temporarily, I guess. I don't know. It's needlessly complicated and very stupid and ultimately doesn't matter. So, on that upbeat note, let's dive into the first full appearance of Bart Allen on The Flash.

Our story begins in Central City in 2049, which mostly looks the same except for annoyingly large holograms on the top of each building. Godspeed is running through the conveniently empty streets, ranting about "infinite velocity" and how all will bow down to him. Suddenly, XS ensnares him with a purple whip that she somehow created with her Speed Force energy. But she doesn't keep the whip on him for long, enabling Godspeed to blast her with a bolt of lightning from his fingertips, just like the Emperor in Star Wars. But before Godspeed can get in a second attack on the floored XS, Impulse comes zooming in behind Godspeed and vibrates through the villain.

As Godspeed collapses on the ground, Bart laughs about how "crash" that was. Nora, however, is upset and lectures her little brother on risking quantum entanglement with that stunt. But while the siblings argue, Godspeed disappears. Luckily, their computer is able to tell them that Godspeed has run off to the Flash Museum, which is actually the old S.T.A.R. Labs building that Barry uses in the current time, with the addition of an ugly gold statue of the Flash placed in a completely empty parking lot. Anyway, our heroes find Godspeed using the Cosmic Treadmill to travel back through time and they decide to follow him.

We then cut back to good ol' 2021, where Nora and Bart are talking with Barry and Chester P. Runk (who has nothing in common with the Chunk of the comics!). Apparently, the Godspeed they battled in the future, August Heart, is now residing at S.T.A.R. Labs with no super speed or memory of who he really is. And for whatever reason, there are dozens of clones of Godspeed (still with their powers) constantly battling each other out on the streets.

Chester formally introduces himself to the "kids" (can I call them kids when they're in their 20s?) but Nora and Bart already know him, and Bart reminds Chester to help him with his homework in the future. They also already know Cecile (the team empath, who was originally based on a nonpowered lawyer from the comics) and Caitlin (the nonpowered human half of the formerly evil Killer Frost — ugh! Why is everything so convoluted?!).

Cecile is happy to have some added muscle for their war against the Godspeed clones, but Nora says they need to protect the timeline and return to the future. But Barry points out that with those clones drawing energy from the Speed Force, there's no way for them to travel through time right now. In other words, Bart and Nora are stuck here until they defeat Godspeed. So they all get to work. Caitlin and Cecile leave to help August regain his memories, while Chester shows off a machine that should drain the artificial speed powers from the clones. He just needs an hour to finish charging it.

We then cut to an excruciatingly unfunny scene of Bart eating Chinese food very quickly and burping. After a nonsensical reference to the "other Nora" from the previous timeline, an alert comes in of some Godspeed clones causing some trouble. So Barry and his kids race off to save the day, with Barry ordering Nora and Bart to make sure no civilians are in harm's way. This is an entirely pointless order, as there is not a single bystander to be found on these ghost-town streets. 

Bart darkly says they should let the Godspeed clones kill each other. Before Barry can respond, the clones stop fighting each other and menacingly move toward our heroes. Barry tells everybody to split up and keep running until the clones have to leave to recharge. However, all the clones choose to follow Bart, calling him "The Adversary." Barry tells Bart to circle back so they can all face the clones together, but Bart tries to lead them out of the city instead. However, he's knocked down by a clone and instantly surrounded. All the Godspeeds dramatically raise one hand sparking with energy, but before they can strike, they all disappear in a flash of lightning. When Barry and Nora catch up, Barry asks why the clones went after Bart. Nora and Bart exchange dark glances as we dramatically head into a commercial break.

When we come back, everybody's back in the lab and Barry is starting to yell at his adult children. Nora says they can't answer his question, but Bart just blurts out that Godspeed is his "Thawne," aka his arch nemesis. Barry tells Bart not to casually throw around the name of the man who murdered his mother, to which Jordan Fisher tries — and fails — to act angry. Nora tries to calm everyone down by suggesting she and Bart go train and work on their "Fathwoom Boom," whatever that is.

Meanwhile, Chester asks yet another metahuman character, Allegra (in the comics, she was the daughter of the obscure villain Wavelength), to use her electromagnetic powers to charge his machine. Iris makes her underwhelming return from the Still Force, saying she's only here temporarily because reasons. And Jay Garrick is kidnapped by the Godspeed clones.

When we return to Bart, he's being chastised by Nora for being unable to catch a ball of his lightning despite being able to throw stars with it. She tells him to start focusing and stop parkouring off every surface he sees. Luckily this boring argument is interrupted by the arrival of Iris. Bart wants to show off the new move he's been working on to use against Godspeed, but Barry forbids him from going out into the field. Iris agrees with her husband, saying the fight with Godspeed is too personal for Bart. Bart insists that he can keep his cool, but Nora says he can't. So Bart gets sad and runs away. Nora tells Barry that she's known Bart for 19 years and says she'll talk to him.

We find Bart at the West family house, which, according to Nora, is where he always goes when he's angry. Bart accuses her of turning on him and says she doesn't understand the pain Godspeed has caused. Poor Jordan Fisher then has to try to act very sad — which he can't do convincingly — and talk about how Godspeed murdered "Uncle Jay" right in front of him. Bart talks about how Barry and "Uncle Wally" (who's conspicuously absent in this season finale) both taught him how to run and meditate, but Jay was the only one who really understood him and saw his impulsiveness as an asset, not a flaw.

Bart wishes they could tell Barry about this, so then he'd understand that Bart has to be the one to take Godspeed down. (Of course, Bart didn't display any of this angst during this episode's opening scene, but that's beside the point.) Nora asks Bart what he thinks Jay would tell him right now, so Bart pull out a cheesy old quote from Jay: "Sometime you have to take your hat off." Bart symbolically pretends to take off a hat and Nora promises to take Godspeed down, as long as Bart stays in the house.

Allegra fails to charge Chester's machine because she's too sad about her sister's death or some other nonsense like that. So Barry charges it with the Speed Force and he and Nora try out the machine on the clones. However, Barry's charges caused the machine to work incorrectly, and the Godspeed clones soon began to ... steal Speed Force energy from Barry and Nora? I guess? All I know for sure is it looked very silly to have those clones slowly walk forward with their arms hanging by their sides, while a mini vortex of wind shot out from their chests. Barry protects Nora and is suddenly saved by Frost, who showed up out of nowhere. Of course, Frost is only able to knock the clones down, giving Barry enough time to pick up the injured Nora and retreat to the lab.

At the lab, Chester apologizes for not realizing that Barry's energy would make his machine strengthen the clones, and he runs off to give Allegra a long, boring pep talk so she can produce enough energy to make the machine work properly. Barry, meanwhile, confides to Iris that even with that machine, they don't have enough manpower. Bart suddenly appears, revealing that he had been hiding in the room, vibrating so fast that he became invisible — even invisible to Barry and Nora.

But to Bart's dismay — and Nora's shock — Barry doesn't want either one of them to continue the fight against Godspeed. The kids protest, but Iris stands with Barry, who even goes as far as threatening to lock up Bart and Nora until this war is over. The kids run off in a huff and their parents rededicate themselves to stopping Godspeed now to prevent him from tormenting their family in the future. Mercifully, the plot finally returns in the form of a Godspeed clone somehow figuring out how to hack into the S.T.A.R. Labs computers to deliver a message: "Turn over The Adversary or the one he loves will die — Jay Garrick!"

Bart and Nora overhear this and Bart naturally wants to spring into action, telling his dad they don't have time to come up with a plan. Chester tracks down the source of that transmission — Zauriel Cathedral (named after the angelic hero Zauriel) on Morrison Avenue (named after writer Grant Morrison). Bart instantly takes off and Nora needlessly tells Barry that he has to save Bart since he's likely running into a trap. (Seriously, Nora, did you think Barry wouldn't have saved him?) Barry agrees, and to Nora's surprise, asks her to come along.

Bart blasts into the cathedral and is horrified to see Jay's helmet on the ground. Suddenly, a bunch of Godspeed clones appear and throw an injured Jay at Bart's feet. When Bart realizes he's surrounded, one of the clones says his inability to suppress his rash nature shall be his undoing. By the time Nora and Barry arrive, one of the clones has Bart suspended high in the air with two mini whirlwinds blasting from his hands. Bart's screaming and I can only assume his powers are being drained, even though this looks quite different from that earlier scene of draining Barry and Nora. Or maybe that wasn't a power drain at all, but just some weird energy blast? Who knows.

Nora yells out to all the clones, "You want speed? Take mine!" And even though the clones only care about killing Bart, they all tack off after Nora — all of them except the one actively draining Bart. That clone keeps Bart up with one hand and aims a whirlwind attack at Barry. But Barry runs through the "draining blast" and keeps on running right through the clone himself, causing him to collapse. He then catches Bart just before he hits the ground and Jay conveniently decides to wake up. Nora returns with five clones right behind her. Barry and Jay prepare to pick up Bart and retreat, but more clones show up out of nowhere and surround our heroes.

Jay stupidly says, "Let's give them heck, Flash!" But before any fighting can occur, the cathedral doors slam open, dramatically revealing Cisco, aka Vibe (who used to have a much larger role on this show). Vibe hits all the clones with a purple energy that freezes them in place just long enough for the speedsters to make their escape, as Nora begins to cry that Bart won't wake up.

They hook Bart up to some medical equipment at the lab, and Caitlin reports that he's in some sort of comatose state and whatever speed he had left is being used to keep him alive. Nora blames herself and Jay explains that the Godspeed clones basically sucked him dry by the time Bart arrived. Barry explains that he decided to mimic Bart when he took down that one clone, saying it sometimes pays to be impulsive (even though phasing through Godspeed only knocked him down for a few seconds, but whatever). Vibe also blames himself for not arriving fast enough to save Bart. But everybody is quickly able to formulate a new, bizarre plan — sending Barry's consciousness into August Heart's.

This is bad. Like really, really bad. Like Mexican soap opera bad. I never thought I would actually miss Smallville, but here we are.

So what happened to this show? I can't say for sure. But I can say what it feels like. Everyone seems bored here. The actors, the writers, the costume designers, everyone. They're bored with the power of super speed, so they've resorted to making up nonsensical powers that are only tangentially related to speed. The story feels like the writers just made it up as they went, too lazy to go back and fix any continuity errors or even attempt to make their techno babble comprehensible. The budget is stretched too thin to afford any extras in the background or make the costumes look half-decent — that Godspeed suit is straight out of Power Rangers. It is embarrassing to watch this show.

But what about Bart? I think the kindest thing I can say is that there's a lost of wasted opportunities here. Let's start from the top: Making Bart Barry's son instead of grandson. The children of Barry and Iris are boring. That's why there's hardly any stories about them over the past 50 years. But Barry's grandchildren are interesting. Bart was the child of an Allen and a Thawne — a classic Romeo-Juliet forbidden romance that this soap opera show would have eaten up!

In the comics, Bart was raised in a virtual reality a thousand years in the future. This made him completely oblivious to the concept of danger and essentially turned him into a living video game character, blissfully bouncing around everywhere he went, heedless of the consequences. This show had none of that. You can keep saying he's impulsive, but unless you actually show him being impulsive, then it doesn't count. Yes, I know Bart becomes quite interesting when trauma makes him super focused and serious. But that only works when you've established the baseline of Bart's impulsiveness. This show was too impatient to do that, robbing itself of a decent storyline.

I highly suspect that Eric Wallace and Lauren Barnett didn't read any comics in preparation for this episode and chose instead to watch some Young Justice. That really explains everything from his costume design to his use of the word "crash." And maybe that wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't also shoehorned Bart into this convoluted Godspeed storyline. In order to justify Bart's random inclusion, they decided to arbitrarily make Godspeed his arch nemesis. They never say why that is, only that Godspeed killed Jay to torment Bart. A flashback of that scene would have been really helpful, but we were instead left with Jordan Fisher pretending to cry on a couch. But that's not even the worst part. Why was Bart so nonchalant during their fight with Godspeed in 2049? That goofy little battle is in direct contradiction with the rest of the episode.

Are there any positives? Sure. I liked how Fisher was always slightly off-kilter whenever he ran into a room. Of course, his costume was too stiff to allow him to really play around with that, which is such a tragedy, given Fisher's dancing background. Fisher did display a nice enthusiasm at times. Unfortunately, this awful script asked him to do a few things out of his wheelhouse. But if we had gotten to know this character a bit more, and maybe even seen Jay be killed, then there's a chance Fisher could have pulled off those emotional moments. Maybe. 

The family dynamic had some potential, but was mostly cheesy. It could have been fun to see Grant Gustin in old-man makeup in 2049, but again, this is a very lazy show. Ultimately, it is just a bit sad and weird that Bart is so old. In the comics, when he was 19, he was the Flash. Not that I'm saying we need to adapt that storyline! It's just ... this doesn't feel like Impulse. A pale imitation. Well, I think I've ranted on long enough.

Next time, the "thrilling" season finale!

The Flash – “P.O.W.”

Director: Marcus Stokes

Writers: Kristen Kim and Dan Fisk

Don’t worry, that’s not a picture of the new live-action Impulse. It’s longtime Green Arrow sidekick John Diggle, who’s been making the rounds of all the Arrowverse shows to promote what may be an upcoming Green Lantern series. Maybe. I don’t know and don’t really care. The fact of the matter is Diggle basically accomplishes nothing in this episode, randomly arriving at the beginning and leaving in an even more abrupt manner in the end.

Of course, I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. This year has been a hard one for Bart Allen. In January, an alternate version of Bart was presented and killed in the first few pages of a Future State issue. In March and April, the regular Flash comic series had Wally West possess Bart’s body — but we didn’t actually see Bart do anything. In May, Bart made very minor cameos in Suicide Squad and Teen Titans Academy — cameos so inconsequential, I decided to not officially review them. And that brings us to July, when we finally got another appearance of a version of Bart Allen. And this is a pretty big one.

The Flash debuted on The CW in 2014, spinning out of the grim, gritty Arrow. After years of Smallville and Arrow embarrassedly burying anything that felt too much like a superhero, The Flash was a breath of fresh air. The first two seasons were engaging, entertaining and exciting. But repetition hampered Season 3, as the show slowly, but surely, morphed into little more than a soap opera in colorful costumes. That’s when I bowed out. To come back now three years later, I’m a little sad to see so many of the same actors stuck in the same rut. Squeeze into an ill-fitting, ugly costume. Stand perfectly still and apart from everybody on your marks. Spout out a few nonsensical lines of dialogue. And, when called upon, pretend to cry real hard. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Hey, I guess it’s a paycheck. Is there an audience for this drivel? Apparently yes. Albeit a rapidly dwindling one.

Anyway, our episode begins with Barry Allen having a troubling dream about his daughter, Nora. In the comics, Barry and Iris had twins — a boy and a girl named Don and Dawn. But on this show, they had a daughter who was born with super speed and became the hero XS (instead of Barry’s granddaughter, Jenni Ognats, from the comics). Nora has previously shown up in a few time-traveling adventures, so Barry isn’t surprised to see her. But he is disturbed by her message of the future changing and the way she dramatically fades away to nothing.

Barry wakes up to a long, confusing and boring “war” between a seemingly infinite number of Godspeed clones. As I previously stated, John Diggle shows up to help, but ultimately accomplishes nothing before he abruptly leaves for mysterious reasons. And there are bunch of pointless side plots that only serve to stall for time, since the budget demands all the real action not occur until the two-part season finale beginning next episode. The only part of this episode that we actually care about comes at the very end. Nora suddenly shows up in Barry’s lab and awkwardly introduces her little brother, Bart, who arrives just about 30 seconds after her. He calls Barry “Pops” and proclaims the lab “crash” as credits role. 

Played by Jordan Fisher, this version of Bart wears a costume very similar to the original Impulse outfit, although with gold lightning trim and silver instead of white. Instead of the long, flowing hair of the comics, this Bart has lightning bolts shaved into the side of his head underneath a curly top. He has also painted his fingernails silver — a rather distracting choice. After Kyle Gallner in Smallville, Fisher is just the second actor to portray Bart in a live-action show. His appearance in this episode is far too brief to give a fair review. But I will say his costume is unflattering. It makes Fisher look fat, which is unfortunate because he’s not, having come from a dancing/singing background. I’ll also question the use of the word “crash.” Impulse used that word in the animated Young Justice because he grew up in a world controlled by the Reach and he was obsessed with literally crashing their mode. It wasn’t just a random word that sounded fun.

Those are my only nitpicks for now. Don’t worry, I’ll have a lot more complaints when I review the next two episodes. For now, I’ll just say that I am glad that Bart has finally shown up on this show. I’m just sad that it’s now a pale imitation of what it once was. There never was a chance for this Bart Allen to be as lovable as the Bart from the comics.

Next time, we begin the two-part season finale of The Flash.

The Flash #769

Blink of An Eye Chapter Two

Jeremy Adams Writer

David Lafuente & Brandon Peterson Artists

Mike Atiyeh & Luis Guerrero Colorists

Steve Wands Letterer

Brandon Peterson & Mike Atiyeh Cover

Zi Xu Variant Cover

Bixie Mathieu Assistant Editor

Mike Cotton Editor

Jamie S. Rich Group Editor

Our cover shows Wally West and Gold Beetle running away from a giant Dominator in the future. This is a mostly accurate representation of the story, with the exception being Wally possessing Bart Allen’s body. Oddly, even though the outside world sees Impulse like normal, Wally (and the reader) sees himself as regular adult Wally West just dressed like Impulse. Anyway, the cover is fine, nothing too catchy. Sadly, the real Impulse is nowhere to be seen on this or the variant cover.

Our story picks up with Barry Allen, Mr. Terrific and Green Arrow adjusting their equipment to continue communicating with Wally. Strangely, Barry regained a portion of his super speed when the raptor exploded and blasted Wally’s consciousness to the future. And when we catch up with Wally, we see that he (or rather Bart) is wearing a power-dampening collar (which he was not wearing last issue).

Gold Beetle has to push Wally off a building to save them from the giant Dominator. Still believing she’s talking to Bart, Gold blames him for growing that alien to the size of “Gorkong.” Wally is confused by all this, but especially the fact that his powers aren’t working. Gold drops a line about the collar having an anti-cloak field, which would explain why we didn’t see it last issue, but doesn’t explain why we did see it on the previous page. Anyway, our heroes land in Gold Beetle’s ship, which is uselessly smaller on the inside.

Gold Beetle blames Bart for messing up the time stream continuum in an attempt to get revenge against the Dominator who killed his dad. Barry begins speaking with Wally again, and Gold Beetle surprisingly can also hear Barry, thanks to her headnet from the 853rd century. Gold is thrilled once she realizes she’s talking to Wally, someone she’s had lots of adventures with in her past. But for Wally, this is the first time they’re meeting. Gold references one of their previous missions and even calls him Captain, which confuses Wally, who was planning to retire before this whole mess began. Gold laughs at the idea of Wally retiring, saying he still has five more crises to live through.

Gold Beetle then asks an interesting question: Where is Bart? However, Gold’s robot, Beets, quickly dismisses this intriguing idea by saying Bart’s “conscious self was probably sublimated” … whatever that means. Barry then tells Gold they believe the Speed Force is hurt and is using Wally to try to heal itself. So Gold has Beets pull up video footage of the recent chronal  disturbance caused by Bart during his encounter with the Dominator.

The video shows a big blast of light suddenly erupt from Bart’s chest. Barry, who can somehow see what Wally sees, identifies this as Speed Force energy. Wally hypothesizes the energy is looking for conduits at their weakest point, like a leak in a fuel line causing pressure to drop. Barry agrees with this theory, saying it feels like the Speed Force is now regaining equilibrium. The video continues to show the energy from Bart blasting the Dominator into the wall and then causing him to rapidly grow to the size of giant.

Mr. Terrific suggests the Speed Force may affect various physiologies differently in an attempt to account for the dinosaur gaining super speed, but the Dominator increasing in size. Barry and Wally don’t disagree with that assessment, but right now they’re more worried about the Dominator exploding like the raptor did. The two Flashes begin to form a plan to siphon energy off the giant alien, and Wally asks Barry if he still has the device Inertia used on him (I have no idea what he’s referencing). Wally has Barry put the device in a time capsule, so he’ll be able to grab it in the future. As Wally and Gold head to the Flash Museum, she asks if his son Jai is still single. Wally says Jai is only 8, but Gold says he’s older when she first meets him.

For absolutely no reason, Green Arrow and Mr. Terrific join Barry in visiting the Flash Museum in civilian clothes. They discuss at length the operating costs of the museum and its gift shop, but Barry doesn’t say a word about the device that Inertia supposedly used against him. Luckily, the device is no larger than a pen, and Barry is able to discreetly place it in the time capsule, which turns out to be a bust of Jay Garrick.

In the future, Wally prepares to break into the Flash Museum, but Gold Beetle warns him that the museum’s security defenses are specifically targeted to stop speedsters — mostly Bart — and Rogues. Wally asks how they should break in then, and Gold responds by saying they do exactly Bart has done a dozen times — be impulsive. She crashes through the museum’s roof, which summons an army of Flash robots. Wally quickly snags the bust and Gold takes care of the robots with a flare of bright light that blinds the bots long enough to cover their escape. Gold calls the security droids terrible and says she now understands why the museum gets ransacked every couple of decades.

Barry tells Wally to not turn on the device until he’s placed it on the target, but he still fails to provide anymore information on it. When Gold asks Wally how they’re going to accomplish this, he suggests they continue acting impulsive like Bart. Barry then hypothesizes that once Wally shuts off this Speed Force leak, he’ll be pulled to another conduit that’s been weakened. In other words, as Wally says, he’s going to keep bouncing around from speedster to speedster until he stops all the surges. As for what happens after that, nobody knows. Barry is worried that Wally won’t have a body, and Mr. Terrific offers to build one for him, but Wally strongly disagrees with the idea of being an android.

In the meantime, Wally and Gold reach the giant Dominator, and in her quest to be impulsive, Gold slams her ship into the back of the alien’s head. Wally jumps out of the ship, runs up the Dominator’s arm, and jokes about the alien’s breath being so bad that it dominates everything. He continues to joke, pretending to be a baseball player, as he tosses the device into the Dominator’s mouth. Wally jumps back onto the ship as the alien rapidly shrinks back down to normal size. Barry tells Wally to be prepared to be pulled back into the Speed Force stream and he asks Gold Beetle to retrieve and dispose of the device the Dominator swallowed. Gold tells Barry she’ll do that, but she has a sarcastic smirk on her face that suggests she won’t.

Gold Beetle then wraps Wally up in a big hug to give her final goodbyes to her Captain. She asks him not to attack her the first time they meet, and Wally whispers something in her ear like Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation. Then Wally is gone, replaced by Bart, who is quite confused to have Gold Beetle so lovingly hugging him. Bart says he promised to not “break time again,” but Gold ignores him and continues to have her moment, as Wally is sent back to World War II.

Well, that was certainly something. Wally West got to have a mildly fun adventure in the future dressed as Impulse. But the real Bart was virtually nonexistent during the whole story. We learned that Bart is in the future, battling Dominators with Gold Beetle. But that’s it. We don’t know why or when he decided to abandon Young Justice and Max Mercury and everybody he knows and loves. I’m not opposed to having Impulse in the future — I just want to actually see him there doing things. Having Wally choosing to act impulsively in Bart’s honor isn’t enough for me.

The art was very difficult for me. Everything has a rubbery, computerized feel to it. But that complaint is quite minor compared to the sheer convenience of everything in this story. Wally’s lost in the future, but a competent ally with a capable form of transportation immediately shows up. He has no difficulties communicating with Barry in the past, and every single one of their guesses about this mystery proves correct on the first try. Wally has a power-dampening collar that is promptly removed without any difficulty. There’s a giant alien lurking around that fails to threaten anything and is instantly defeated with a mysterious device that we’ve never heard of before. (Seriously, Inertia has never utilized any device against Barry Allen. The closest I can think of is the machine he had the Rogues build to take down adult Bart. But that was completely different.) 

There were no stakes in this story, but there were grave consequences for our buddy Bart Allen. He is now essentially trapped in no man’s land — too far removed from anything for anyone to use him in another comic. Adams seems to have no desire to do anything with Bart, other than a convenient way to show off his original character, Gold Beetle. Until somebody does something drastic like bring back Young Justice or actually tell a story with the full Flash family, I don’t think we’re going to see Impulse in the comics again. So, in the meantime, let’s drown our sorrows in the new house ads:

Uncover the darkest corners of Gotham alongside its legendary protector! Legends of the Dark Knight.

Batman vs. Snake Eyes! Zeropoint.

DC Nation spotlight on Robin #1. Interview with Joshua Williamson and Gleb Melnikov.

Next time … well, technically, Bart did make minor cameos in Suicide Squad and Teen Titans Academy … but those were just pictures of him on a TV screen or whatever. I could review those issues, but, frankly, I wouldn’t have anything to say about them. So, I’ll just skip ahead to the debut of Bart Allen on the live-action Flash show!